January 12, 2012
For this LAST POST I thought I might write, you know, a RETROSPECTIVE. It's been a while, after all, I have 200% more children than I did when I started, and maybe I have learned a thing or two. So I looked back at my very first post and HOW IRONIC: it was a "wait - did the baby ACTUALLY sleep through the night?" post which is pretty much exactly the kind of post I wrote on my personal website today, only with more "HOW do we make it HAPPEN?". Which makes me think the answer to my question is: I have learned a NEGATIVE amount of parenting wisdom.
I wish I could say I'm way more fabulous and Supermommish than I was four years ago when I started blabbing about my SAHM days on the Parenting Post. The unfortunate truth, I think, is that I'm more tired, more haggard, and more worn out, as well as lumpier, frumpier, wrinklier, and grayer.
These kids have made me a better person. Way down deep inside, past the twenty extra pounds and the layers of undereye concealer, I am a more compassionate and empathetic person. I have not become selfless, but I understand what it means and even occasionally choose to act selflessly when I really don't want to. I am slower to judge, quicker to help. I have learned how to step out of some (not all!) of my comfort zones.
I used to see kids in church with wild stick-uppy hair, with pink glittery shoes that clearly did not match a brown corduroy jumper; now I am the mom with the kid whose hair refuses to lay flat, and the mom too tired to argue with the kid who begs to wear her favorite shoes. I used to roll my eyes and mutter under my breath about parents who couldn't control their children; now I tell myself that we're all just doing our best. And I hope the other moms are giving me the same benefit of the doubt when my kid pees her pants in the middle of Target.
And that's just HAVING kids. The kids themselves can be a huge kick in the pants. I never knew how exciting and amazing it could be to watch someone learn to attach lines to circles and identify them as, "That's YOU, Mommy!" Or how my heart would break when my daughter stopped saying "sta-ba-weddies" and started saying "strawberries".
I think what I'm saying is: the lumpy frumpiness might (MIGHT) be worth it.
Wait - is this starting to sound like a commercial for having children? I can fix that. YOU WILL NEVER SLEEP AGAIN.
I also never dreamed that I would STILL be writing about my children on the internet. I've been humiliating myself and exploiting my kids for over seven years now and in return I've received SO MUCH. Not just parenting advice and tips and comic relief and nap time entertainment, but real connections and in-person friendships - people I see every week and people I see once a year because we started our own blogger get together. I have so appreciated the opportunity to connect with those of you who read the silly stuff I throw out on Parenting.com. I won't be writing here anymore, but you know where to find me!