Can Moms Be Sexy?
November 8, 2010
Sunday night was the season premiere of Kendra on E! In case you missed it, here's a brief synopsis: Kendra was trying to decide whether or not she should pose for Playboy again, and asked her husband Hank Baskett, an NFL player, whether he would mind if she took her clothes off for the magazine (she's already posed for Playboy four times, pre-husband and baby).
She went on Mancow's radio show to talk about her new memoir, Sliding into Home, and he drilled her about her new life as a settled-down mom. He insisted that now that she's a mom, she's no longer considered "sexy." He really laid into her about it; she was so outraged by his comments she basically hung up on him during his live radio show. (I would've too.)
"You don't need to shake your ass anymore,” he said. “You're married, you've got a kid, you're a mom. You were Marilyn Monroe when I first met you; now you're Mrs. Brady.”
Mrs. Brady!? Have you seen Kendra lately? I think there’s someone in the middle of Marilyn Monroe and Mrs. Brady, though I hope I look as good as Florence Henderson when I’m 76…and am as limber. Did you see her on Dancing with the Stars? Impressive.
Anyway, then he went onto say: “You're a mom now, you can't be cool as a mom... You can't be cool with a baby hanging off you, and drool all over your shirt."
That's when I took serious offense. I would beg to differ, Mancow, you can be a cool mom. Um, I am one. Have you met me?
Kendra's reaction after hanging up: "Now that I'm a mom, I can't be sexy? I'm 25! I don't want to be the face of mom.com." (Great line, by the way.)
For the record, I would love to be the face of mom.com, but I digress…
So it got me thinking: Does Mancow actually have a point? Do you lose your sexiness when you become a mom? Does the mere fact that you have a kid take you out of the running for sexy?
Side note: I once had a gay male co-worker tell me that Angelina Jolie wasn’t considered hot anymore (we were considering her for a poll about celebrity MILFs), because she had had too many kids. Thankfully this guy no longer works here, and when I asked the straight dudes in my office if they agreed with his statement, they said they definitely considered Jolie to be a MILF, and that the number of kids a woman has doesn't factor into the MILF equation. So there.
Kendra was so enraged by Mancow's comments, it drove her to set up a sexy, lingerie-clad photo shoot of her own -- to show herself (and everyone else) that she's still got it. And, if you’re wondering, she does.
I’m not gonna lie, though, I definitely don't feel as sexy as I used to, before becoming a mom (I'm also not 25). In terms of what I’ve accomplished with becoming a mom, and a working mom at that, I feel confident and sexy – but in terms of the way I look, I’ve still got a ways to go in how I feel with my post-baby body. The back problems definitely don’t help me feel sexy either – last week I was diagnosed with degenerative disc disease, something very common in elderly people. Nope, nothing sexy about that!
I was a single gal about town a mere 3-4 years ago; I used to go out for a living as a nightlife columnist, attending exclusive parties and charity events and openings and what not – it forced me to be sexy, because I was around sexiness all the time. Since becoming a mom I obviously don't go out much anymore, and don't put a lot of effort into looking "hot" (my poor husband) because I simply don't have the energy or time. Lame excuse, I know. I don't get my hair colored or cut nearly as often as I used to; mani/pedis used to be on the weekly to-do list, now they're more or less reserved for "special occasions"; I hardly ever shop for myself; I'm lucky if I get to blow-dry my hair once a week (it's more like a bi-weekly event). My husband still says I’m beautiful and hot, but I usually shrug off the compliments because he’s contractually bound to give them.
Yes, clearly I have some post-partum self-esteem issues -- I’m working on them. There are times I feel sexy, when we’re dressed up for a night out, but those nights are so few and far between these days. I go from work clothes (jeans, boots and a wrap sweater) to mom clothes (yoga pants and an oversized T-shirt) in 30 seconds flat when I get home; weekends my hair is tied up and I’m almost always in sneakers and a hoodie, whatever’s most comfortable for chasing a toddler around the house. You know how it is, Moms.
But I believe most moms can be every bit as sexy as their non-mom counterparts, they may just have to work a little harder. In fact, all of my mom friends – literally, all of them – look just as smoking hot after having kids as they did before. Some even look hotter. I’m not kidding you, these women worked hard to get their bodies back into shape, and it has paid off. I’m proud to have sexy mom friends (even if I don’t consider myself one of them -- yet!).
So I believe moms can be very sexy, do you?
And when it comes to being cool – well, I think I’ve got that one in the bag, Mancow. Not sure who you’ve been hanging out with lately, but maybe you need some cool, new mom friends. I work full time for Playboy so my time is somewhat limited, but I might be able to hook you up.