So Much for Schedules

So I've moaned and groaned about how my kid doesn't eat anything in this space before. But now I'd like to get more specific, if I may, and gripe about WHEN they eat.

You: SO EXCITED TO READ ABOUT THIS!
Me: I KNOW!

Okay, so as I type, Jack and Molly are sitting in front of their barely-touched plates of tortellini and sausage. Tortellini and sausage, or, as I like to call it when I put it on their plates, noodles and hot dogs! Kid-approved! Even my kids eat this stuff! But because one of them was snacking all afternoon and one of them just doesn't like to eat food in general, neither of them is interested.

I've been trying to pay more attention when my kids actually seem hungry, and this is what I've discovered:

BREAKFAST
Molly can eat a four-egg omelette and ten slices of toast when she wakes up, around six in the morning. Jack is all, "Breakfast? No thanks. Give me five dry Mini-Wheats and I'm good.

LUNCH
Molly starts scooting towards the fridge at about 10:30 in the morning. Jack, and I swear this is true, starts asking me for dinner around 10:45. "Want dinner Mama!" and I say, "You mean lunch?" and he thinks about it and then looks at me pitifully and says, "Yes! Wunch!" I manage to hold them off till at least 11, but then they eat lunch. How much they eat depends. And WHO KNOWS WHAT IT DEPENDS ON. Not me!

DINNER
Molly thinks dinner starts around three, or whenever she wakes up from her nap. The girl would like to graze all afternoon, and then glare at us when we give her Actual Dinner. Jack prefers to wait until dinnertime, or later even, and what and how much he eats depends. And -- say it with me now -- WHO KNOWS WHAT IT DEPENDS ON!

I've tried being stingy with snacks, but Molly makes it clear that she will positively die if she does not have a fistful of goldfish crackers right that very instant. I think she either gets hungry before we do and can't wait, or doesn't eat enough at lunchtime. Of course, Jack never eats anything for lunch and scoffs at dinner, but often pounds an entire plate of food right before he goes to bed (if we offer it to him. Which we don't, usually.) Why can't these children act logically?

Anyway, I know there's not really anything to DO about it, I just like to think there might be, so I can attempt to be productive rather than write clueless blog posts. The right answer, like the answer to every other Big Parenting Question I've dealt with, is probably: make peace with your cluelessness. This too shall pass!

In the meantime, thank goodness for the chocolate in the Advent calendar as it currently provides their main source of sustenance.