JUST KIDDING. (Although you KNOW those are awesome. Admit it.)
1. Sleeping on my stomach. In fact, this blog post could be an entire ODE to sleeping on my stomach and how I miss it so. It is the best way to sort of burrow into your nice cozy bed and drown out the husband snores. I still slept on my stomach early on in pregnancy, because I am a veteran and wanted to put off the sore hipped, surrounded by pillows side sleeping for as long as possible. But you don't have much choice in the third trimester and at this point, side sleeping BLOWS. I swear, I have DREAMS about sleeping on my stomach.
2. Bending over. Man, I miss bending over. Everything from shaving your legs to cleaning up spilled milk is a Jillian Michaels-worthy athletic event when your belly is so big you can't see your toes. I'm lucky in that I have two cheerful preschoolers willing to fetch my purse from the floor and hunt down that rogue Cocoa Puff. My husband, however, still hasn't mastered the art of picking up his socks, and I haven't yet trained the children to do the laundry. I think it's all the bending over that puts me into a coma by two o'clock in the afternoon every single day.
3. Clothes shopping. Okay, so I'm one of those people for whom MUCH effort is required to fit back into her old clothes (all you skinny girls with bowling ball bellies that disappear two weeks after giving birth have my undying admiration and ire.) In fact, I'm pretty much screwed in the old clothes department until I'm done breastfeeding. However! I am still slobbering over all the cute fall outfit combinations on Pinterest (TELL ME you know about Pinterest, the best and biggest internet timesuck!) I'm lusting after thin cardigans and tall boots and whimsical scarves and tights and jersey dresses and OH WAIT. Even if I lose all the baby weight and more I won't have the body type (Long. Skinny. Near Boob-Less.) to fit into those super cute ensembles. WOE.
4. Exercise. EXERCISE?! I know, I know. But things are getting dire around here. We live two blocks away from Jack's preschool, and by the time we walked there this morning I thought I might die. True, there are a handful of steep-ish hills in those two blocks, but my lungs shouldn't be SO on fire. I had hoped to get more exercise in this pregnancy, but let's face it, naps come first. I don't even think I could pull off one of those hokey pregnancy yoga videos at this point. I'm really looking forward to buying a secondhand jogging stroller, sticking this new baby inside, and just walking around the lake when the older two are in preschool.
5. Keeping up with my kids. Oh I feel like such a rotten parent lately. I am short tempered, beyond tired, and have absolutely no patience for all the dumb bickering these guys get into multiple times a day. I'm talking about when Molly runs in to whine, "I don't want Jack to talk to me!" or when Jack shouts, "But MOLLYMOO you have to SHARE" when what he really means is "give that to me right now." We've got a precious few days of summer left and they're actually sunny and warm and we should be at the beach or riding bikes or splashing in the sprinkler, but all I've got are goldfish crackers and crayons. I know a new baby isn't going to help much in the temperament and tiredness departments, but it's a step in the positive direction! At 35 (or 36? I can't remember) weeks, a routine and the energy to go with it seems SO far away.
Bonus Things I Am Not Looking Forward To: Hair falling out (and growing back gray). Nursing bras. No more "because I deserve it!" ice cream. No more good excuse for missing meetings and obligations and somewhat unexciting social events. Having to actually DO the exercise, not just THINK about it. Typing one-handed. That awful moment when the maternity clothes start to look ridiculous but the old clothes still don't fit. ETCETERA. ETCETERA.