This has been one of the hardest things for me to deal with this time around and it is only amplified by the fact that while I’m grossly pregnant, I’m also parenting a toddler. A lovely, adorable little toddler, yes, but she’s 2. We have our moments – her terrible ones, my terrible ones – and when they coincide… whoa.
Watch out, world.
Unfortunately, it’s not just my patience with my two-year old that is running thin, but really, my patience with humanity. And let me tell you, it’s not a pretty place to be. Fortunately, as I’ve recently transitioned back into full-time at-home status, I’ve had fewer occasions in which I’ve had to go out into public (beyond quick trips to the grocery store) or, god forbid, ride public transit. But even so, my immediate neighborhood is filled with hazards. That person who dares to stand too close to me in line at the coffee shop. That kid at the tot lot who takes a toy from my kid and makes her cry. My poor, unsuspecting husband.
Little things happen and I feel my blood start to boil. Things that would never bother me otherwise – things that shouldn’t bother me at all – but there they are. My blood pressure rises, my eyes flash red, and I catch myself.
Jo, Jo, Jo… c’mon, now.
When my rational side steps in and takes over, I’m fine. I mean, I’m still angry inside, but 9 times out of 10, I know better than to let it out and I catch myself before I say or do something I’ll immediately regret. That’s what matters in the grand scheme of things. Still, I can’t help but wonder if I would be better off quarantined to my apartment until Boo shows up. Greater Brooklyn may thank me for it.
In the meantime, I’m managing as best I can. I’m relying on Twitter for camaraderie and empathy, reaching out to friends for advice, and am going to do my best to take it. I’m utilizing natural approaches such as a spearmint/skullcap/motherwort herbal tonic from the local apothecary and hoping that it will make a difference. But, really, what I’m doing most is sitting quietly on the couch, talking to Boo, and asking him/her to make an appearance sooner rather than later.
While I know that things won’t be better after Boo arrives (hello, sleep deprivation!), I still can’t help but look forward to a different sort of chaos and set of challenges. I’m over the pregnancy rage and ready for the next thing life wants to throw at me.
What did you find was your biggest challenge in late pregnancy, whether emotional or physical? What did you do to combat it or move through it in the healthiest way possible?