November 19, 2011
I’ve been a bit behind on things this week. I had grand plans for all kinds of things – catching up on posts here (and maybe even getting ahead!), doing some shopping to finalize our outfits for the family portraits we had taken this afternoon, reflecting on the fact that Thursday was the one-year anniversary of the very first birth I ever attended as a doula…
Then I got terrible, unexpected news from a friend. Her daughter, just 23-months old and a toddler friend of Poppy’s, had unexpectedly died in her sleep. And I haven’t been able to stop crying since.
I debated writing about it here since this is a pregnancy blog and I couldn’t figure out how to relate this to pregnancy, necessarily, but it’s all that’s on my mind and writing about anything else in these moments would feel trite.
My friends’ terrible news has caused many of us to pause and reflect this week. I think we’re all hugging our children a little bit closer and counting our blessings. We’re in shock and disbelief, having an impossible time trying to wrap our heads around the reality of such a loss. I can not imagine the depth of the grief that our friends are experiencing and I wish more than anything in the world that I could do something – anything – to lessen their pain and ease their burden. Or better yet, rewind to Wednesday and stop time altogether.
Since Thursday, my husband and I have done a lot of reflecting together, mostly about what we would do if faced with such a loss, and have talked a lot about how much we cherish our partnership, our young daughter, and our soon-to-be son or daughter. We’ve put aside our usual bickering, have watched our patience with our wily toddler soar, and have spent more time than usual cuddled up on the couch together, delighting in Boo’s kicks and thumps from in utero.
I hope that tonight, you’ll take a moment to enjoy your families, say a little prayer of thanks to the universe for all that is good in your life, and send up an extra one for our friends, Leela & Tom, and their daughter, Rosalie.
In the meantime, if you know of any good online resources for families dealing with child or baby loss, please share them in the comments.