Pregnancy, as Understood By My 3- and 5-Year-Olds

17w, 6d. It’s been several weeks since we told our sons that we were expecting another baby. They seemed to get it right from the beginning, save some less-than-polite comments about how my 5-year-old already knew that I was pregnant because I was “already looking a little bit ‘fat.’” (Thanks again, Ben.)

We’ve talked about how this baby will (hopefully) be born at home, like our 3-year-old was, and that if either or both of them want to be present for the birth, that’s OK with me (more on that in a future post)—and we’ve started talking about how babies actually get out of a mom’s belly. But recently, for all of our talking, they’ve said some things that made me realize that I have a bit more educating to do about pregnancy, birth, and babies. For example:

• Ben, my 5-year-old: “Mommy, at the end of your pregnancy, will your belly be a rectangle or a square?” Hmmm… Neither, I hope!
• Henry, my 3-year-old: “I have a tummyache because I have a baby sister in my belly—but it’s OK because the baby will pop out soon, and it won’t hurt.” I’d love a real-life version of labor like this!
• Ben [pointing to my breasts]: “Is the baby in here? ‘Cause you look a lot more pregnant here than in your belly.” I had no idea how to respond to this one.
• Henry: “I like babies, but I don’t like it when they cry. I’m going to tell the baby not to cry because crying will break my heart.” And your constant whining breaks my heart AND ears, kid.
• Henry: “The baby’s your age, Mommy.” [Minutes later…] “The baby and I are the same age, Mommy.” Huh.
• Ben [when asked for name suggestions for the baby]: “Rosie Rosen” I like the alliteration, but nope.
• Henry [when asked for name suggestions for the baby]: “Denry!” Definitely not.
• Henry: “The baby is going to pop out this week!” Well, that would be a surprise to us all—a mere five months ahead of schedule.
• Henry: “Santa is bringing us a baby brother!” True that I’m due just a week after Christmas, but I don’t think Santa had any part in this…

Did your kids understand when you told them about another pregnancy? Did they say anything that made you laugh or just plain baffled you? Leave a comment!