The Question that Everybody Is Asking

15w, 4d. These days, almost without fail, after hearing “Congratulations!” on this third baby, I get asked in a hushed voice with a sideways glance, “So, was it planned?”

I don’t think that I was ever asked whether either of my first children were planned, so this has caught me off-guard. In fact, just last night at a friend’s barbecue, I heard the question from two separate people within just five minutes.

What is it about a third baby that makes people not only wonder if it was planned—but also give them the nerve to ask such a personal question? Is it that we’ve just tipped the balance in favor of kids vs. adults in our household? Is it that there was just two years between our first two kids, as opposed to the almost four years between our second and third? Or is it just that people feel comfortable asking all kinds of inappropriate and personal questions of pregnant women? I really don’t know. But for the record, yes, this baby was very much wanted and (mostly) planned. But if it wasn't, how and why should that matter to anyone else?

What kinds of inappropriate questions did you get asked during your pregnancy?