Man Says Seeing Childbirth Turned Him Off Sex
November 2, 2012
Ah, the miracle of birth! One upon a time, dads were kept away from it—corralled in the hospital's waiting room, smoking cigars while pacing nervously. Now, of course, hospitals encourage fathers to be there for the birth of their child. But one dad claims that this time, progress isn't a good thing. In fact, seeing his wife give birth put him off of sex for an entire year!
In an article in the Daily Mail, Martin Daubney describes how traumatic a three-day labor and emergency cesarean birth were...on him! “Witnessing the trauma of childbirth, coupled with the toll it takes on their partner’s body, can have a devastating impact on a man and his approach to sex,” Martin writes.
The problem? There are changing expectations of fathers, Martin says. “Today’s dads see it as an intrinsic part of their role to accompany their partner through every step of childbirth. To suggest otherwise is seen as a dereliction of duty, an act of misogyny,” he says. Martin believes that if men saw less of the delivery, “couples would have more chance of normal intimacy after a birth.”
But there are other issues besides childbirth flashbacks. “People don’t like to talk about scars from the Cesarean, saggy stomachs or greatly increased nipple size, but that’s the reality,” Martin writes, stating that some of his friends have admitted to missing their lover's formerly toned bodies. And while Martin was in awe of what wife Diana's body had accomplished, the birth experience had been humiliating and painful for his wife. It also exacerbated a back problem that left her hobbling. “I felt guilty; I had made her pregnant, so surely I was to blame. That’s what made me terrified of love-making — I didn’t want to put her through that trauma again.”
Plus: Babyproof Your Sex Life
Martin and Diana waited a year before broaching the subject of post-baby nookie. Eventually, they resumed their sex life and are now expecting their second child.
Dads, how did you experience the birth of your child? Did it inspire or traumatize you? Leave a comment and let us know.