Many kids head back to school today—if they haven’t already—so as a reward for getting them out the door, read Jenny Rosenstrach’s brilliantly funny letter to her husband (served by “attorneys” Almuerzo & Snaks) to ensure that he will be packing lunches and snacks exactly HALF of the time this school year.
Among the hysterics: Jenny’s husband (an editor, go figure) writes in changes to the contract before singing. In regards to his crust-cutting duties, he has moral opposition—“Life has crusts!” The freelance magazine writer and cookbook author tried to cover as many eventualities as possible: Can he get out of his packing duties if a third-party schedules a business trip? Only if he professes the author’s resemblance to Rachel Weisz in the days leading up to that trip. Seems fair.
Rosenstrach says that the contract is 90 percent a joke, of course. It came about because they always dread the conversation about whose turn it is to assemble the lunches. Have a whole year of happy, healthy lunch packing--and may you always be able to find the right lids to fit your Tupperware.