Birth should be—and usually is—an incredibly joyous occasion. But for one New York City couple, the recent birth of their twins was terribly bittersweet, reports the NY Daily News.
Michal Lura Friedman, a 44-year-old singer-songwriter known as “Michal the Girl,” and husband Jay Snyder had finally become pregnant after seven long years of trying, using everything from herbal teas to multiple rounds of IVF. Friedman, who described herself as a “five foot nothing cupie doll with attitude, who packs a powerful voice in her tiny frame strong enough to blow your hair backwards,” had only the usual morning sickness during a fairly typical pregnancy. But, because one of the twins was breech, a C-section was scheduled for November 28th, when she was 38 weeks along. During her preop appointment at NYU Langone Medical Center on November 25th, her blood pressure was elevated, so doctors decided to admit her and do the C-section that day.
After her healthy babies, a 6-pound girl named Reverie Vivian and a 7-pound, 12-ounce boy named Jackson James were born, Friedman started to hemorrhage and despite doctors’ best efforts, died four-and-a-half hours later.
“One of the many things that is despicable about this is that she didn’t really even get a chance to hold her kids,” Snyder told the Daily News. “They held up the babies to her, she saw them and smiled at me, but she was kind of out of it from the drugs. She wanted to be a mother more than anything else in the world.”
He added, “She did such an amazing job of getting there, and she doesn’t get the payoff to be the mom she was supposed to be. It feels like such a ripoff.”
At Friedman’s memorial service, her husband shared a moving eulogy, read by his uncle:
“That Michal has died, and particularly the way she died, feels incredibly cruel. Those closest to her, those who cared for her most, and supported her on her struggle toward motherhood, or simply admired her for it, have a long road ahead to letting the outrage and sorrow go. We must eventually accept that life makes no promises, as much as we might wish it would.
“But ultimately life is a blessing and it’s up to us to decide what to do with it. In her life, Michal chose to bless us with two beautiful children. Michal herself was a blessing in my life, and will continue to be through our family. I had almost ten years with a woman that redefined what it was to love and to fight for what you love. And while we all may feel cheated, I am grateful I had the chance to be her boyfriend, her husband, the guy she was most happy to see, the one who knew best how to make her happy, and experience the joy of how happy that made me. Best of all, I got to be the father of her children, and I still get to love her for the rest of my life.
“For that gift, there are no words.”
The twins came home on December 1st, and for now, Snyder and his mother-in-law are taking turns changing diapers and feeding the babies. If you want to help Reverie and Jackson Snyder, please visit thesnydertwins.com.