Parenting Top Ten: Ways Motherhood Makes You a Celebrity
September 18, 2009
From the September issue of Parenting
1. Someone's always hounding you for your autograph. Even if it's just on a permission slip for the class trip to the recycling center.
2. You travel with an entourage. Okay, so two of them are fighting over a bag of Doritos and one of them has a crusty nose, but STILL.
3. You spend your days club-hopping. How else would your kids get to Brownies?
4. You're front and center at every awards show. Because your 10-year-old would never forgive you for being absent when he wins the school carnival karaoke contest.
5. You change clothes three times a day. And it's much more fun if you pretend it's because you're being stalked by the paparazzi, not a messy toddler.
6. You're on a spa diet. Your kids only leave broccoli on their plates for you.
7. You've flashed your boobs in public. Hey, it's not easy to juggle a hungry baby in one hand and unhook a nursing bra with the other!
8. People beg to sleep with you. Well, only because there's a monster under their bed.
9. You're covered in tattoos that your kid got in a birthday-party goody bag and plastered on you when you were too pooped to resist.
10. Hassled as you feel right now, in 20 years you'll miss all the chaos.