My younger sister, Meghan, is 22-weeks pregnant with her first child. I love the way she handled the 20-week sono news….
She and her husband decided early on that they wanted to know—but they wanted to make the reveal special so they asked the technician to write the sex on a piece of paper and stick it in an envelope. The plan was to have a big family dinner the next day and they would open it then. Of course they didn’t even make it to the car before tearing into the envelope and finding out their baby-to-be is a...girl. And they loved that they had that emotional and exciting moment to themselves, even if it was in a parking lot. But she didn’t tell any of us and we still had the family dinner the next day. To make it special for the kids, Meghan stuffed a ton of helium balloons in a giant box and wrapped it like a present. After placing bets on the sex and what the heck was in that box, the kids tore into it and out flew a bunch of big pink balloons. We all cheered and laughed and then the kids fist fought over who got the most balloons. It was a super cute idea (stolen from Guiliana Rancic, apparently) and a lot of fun for everyone.
The delivery of my baby news wasn’t quite as fun. I found out the sex with both children. For me (and for Nick) it was never a question. Here’s how I looked at it: Having a baby come out of your vagina is surprising enough I don’t also need to be surprised by what gender that baby is. The more I knew about what was going to come out of me that day, the better. (Although you’re never quite prepared for what comes out of you that day, are you?) Also, I’m not a fan of the color yellow. So at our 20-week appointments after sweating through all the measurements and the silent nerve-wrackng nods of the technician, we said we wanted to know the sex and we were told and we were pumped. I loved knowing. For a lot of reasons. But we were very matter of fact about the reveal. We called our family from the car on the way home and that was that. I should also say that I am not the kind of person who sang to my belly or named my babies before they were born or called my kid he or she until he and she came out (they were always “the baby” or “it” to me). I guess I’m just an unsentimental, matter-of-fact kinda gal through and through.
I’ve heard interesting reasoning on both sides of the sex reveal coin. And I understand a lot of it. To me it is a completely personal decision and you should do whatever you choose. I just don’t like when people take a smug stance about their choice. There are preggos who say things like this (to women who just told them that they themselves found out the sex): “Oh, I didn’t want to find out because all that mattered to me was that the baby was healthy. We don't care what we have.” Well, I think it’s safe to say that we all want healthy babies whether we want to find out the sex or not. And finding out the sex doesn't mean you're rooting for one gender or the other. Right?! I also know there are some people who find out the sex of the baby but then don’t tell anyone else. I will not say anything about these people in case you are one of them, but…I just don’t get it. Or I guess I get it I just wish they wouldn’t tell me that they know and that I’m not allowed to know. It makes me feel weird and like they’re holding something over me that I truly don’t care about but that I then start caring about too much (that said, I totally understand when people pick a name but don’t share that). Anyway….
I’m curious: Did you find out and if so how did you share the news (or not)? And if you didn’t, why did you decide not to? Maybe if we have a third kid we might not find out just for shits and giggles. But I doubt it.