Facebook Statuses I Couldn’t Post – Until Now (And: When Do You Tell People You’re Pregnant?)
May 7, 2013
© Erin Zammett Ruddy
I’m pregnant with numero tres.
I just announced it last week on my blog, which was such a relief because I’ve been dying to share the news since, oh, I peed on the stick. In fact, I’ve been keeping track of all the status updates I would have posted if I weren’t superstitious about going public in the first trimester.
As those of you who’ve been following me since my Glamour days know, my life is an open book. And I love sharing (and oversharing) with all of you. So the whole “you’re not supposed to tell people you’re pregnant” thing has been tough. It’s one of my least favorite parts of early pregnancy because I just feel like I’m lying, which I hate to do. But telling people makes me feel like I may jinx things, if you know what I mean.
Doctors and nurses and all the pregnancy books and sites tell you to wait until you're 12 weeks when the risk of miscarriage goes way way down. I would have loved to follow that rule, but when you're used to blabbing everything about anything, it's pretty hard. Especially on your third go around. We obviously told our parents and close family right away (I speak to my sisters and parents several times a day and we are all beyond close so there are very few secrets among us). And if anyone asked me face-to-face, I’d tell them the truth. I just couldn't form the words to dodge the question or flat-out lie.
Also, I had written the post about considering trying for a third so if anyone wanted to, they could probably figure it out pretty easily. The day after I got the positive pregnancy test, I had breakfast with my friend, Susie—who I hadn’t seen in nearly two years since she’d been in Japan—and she told me she’d read that blog post and asked which way we were leaning. “I’m pregnant,” was my response. I just didn’t have it in me to be coy. I didn’t make special calls to anyone but if they needed to know or really wanted to know, I told them.
Even still, every time I told someone, I'd add them to my mental list of people I’d have to call if something went wrong. I know that’s morbid, but that’s what I’d think about. And when I told anyone, I'd just say something along these lines: "It's really early, we're not even letting ourselves get excited, anything can happen but if all goes well, we'll be having a third!" I guess that's my way of protecting myself from disappointment.
In some cases, it was just plain logical to be open. I told many of my local friends pretty early on because, well, I have an active social life that life involves drinking wine and I'm just not gonna pour myself a big glass of wine and pretend to sip it then dump some down the drain when no one's looking. I felt good enough to be out and about as opposed to going into hiding like I did with my first. My book club (AKA wine club) knew before I’d even heard a heartbeat because I didn’t feel like skipping the meeting and no one would buy it if I was sipping seltzer. It’s also basically a fertility club since 80 percent of our members are either pregnant or have just given birth and we’ve all talked a lot about the ups and downs of pregnancy. They'd be among the first people I'd tell if something went wrong.
That said, I obviously didn’t blog about the pregancy or post anything on facebook because, while some people are comfortable with that, I just worry about jinxing things if I were to put it out in the universe in such a big, celebratory way. It’s not that I didn’t want to share it with everyone, believe me I did. I also think that urge has gotten harder to resist now that we live in the Facebook era, where every thought we have feels worthy of sharing with the world. I can’t tell you how many status updates I drafted in my head over the past two months.
In fact, I wrote them down to eventually share with you. So now that I'm almost 14 weeks and feeling good and officially out, here goes. The first trimester status updates I wanted to post but didn't (shockingly, they're mostly about food!):
- Perhaps the only thing worse than not drinking is fake drinking. For. The. Birds.
- If Nick asks me one more time if he looks like he's gained a little weight, I'm out.
- How much nutritional value is there in a pound of cheddar goldfish? Bueller? Bueller?
- Pregnant people who crave healthy foods drive me nuts. Especially celebrities like Fergie, who said mangoes are like crack to her. Also, should Fergie be joking about crack?
- At what point is it acceptable to switch to my maternity jeans? 8 weeks? 9?
- Omg, what the $&@?! are we getting ourselves into?!
- I wonder if the people at Bay Deli know I'm pregnant or if they think I just switched from one egg sandwich a week to four for the hell of it...
- I think there should be a rule that if you have to wait for your doctor’s appointment longer than 30 minutes, you get your copay waived.
- Can you eat truffles when you’re pregnant? How’s that for a first world problem?!
- I went from working out five days a week to no days a week. Think my body will notice?
- Nora just told me my belly was big and that I looked like I had a baby in it. I was totally offended, even though she’s right.
- I seriously hope there are at least a few people out there who suspect I might be pregnant and that I’m not just letting myself go.
- There should be pregnancy controls on the Internet so that women who are with child cannot Google all the horrible things that could go possibly go wrong.
- Dayum, I forgot how stressful and nerve-wracking it is to be pregnant! Gah!
- I know it's full of crap and packed with calories and so generally not good for me but I definitely need to get an egg and cheese on a biscuit from Dunkin Donuts at least once during this pregnancy. Maybe twice.
- Liz Lange has a line for Target?! Nice!
- Is it wrong that I’m treating this pregnancy as the last chance I have to eat whatever I want, whenever I want? Don’t answer that.
Oh, and here's one I will likely post later today:
- Did anyone else see this lovely little study that says moms with three kids are the most stressed out moms around? To quote The Wedding Singer: That information might have been a little more useful to me YESTERDAY! Or, more accurately, prior to Febraury 17 :)
I’m due November 9th (you can read all the fun details here) and will be posting more often between now and then because, well, pregnancy makes for lots of writing material. Especially when you’re on your third! So stay tuned for lots of fun updates.
In the meantime, I’m curious: When did you tell people you were pregnant? Did you feel like you would jinx it if you blabbed too much? Does it make you feel a little icky to lie to people or do you feel like it’s a fact of pregnancy that everyone accepts? And when did you out yourself on facebook? Let’s discuss!