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Funny iPhone Apps We Wish Were Real

  • Craig M. Feldman

    Through real-time satellite imagery, Flickster determines which child started the pinch-and-poke fight in the backseat, so you don't need to take your eyes off the road.

  • Craig M. Feldman

    Google Naps provides a detailed report of precisely when, where, and how long your child slept. Example: “Location: Under dining room table. Duration: 56 minutes, 3 seconds.”

  • Craig M. Feldman

    Angry Words helps flustered parents find socially acceptable ways to express their frustration with a child. For example: Replace “#@$%-ing &%$#” with “I am unequivocally incensed.”

  • Craig M. Feldman

    He can't decide whether he wants to wear a fireman's hat or a clown wig to daycare. Don't worry. The Whether Channel helps your indecisive toddler make up his mind.

  • Craig M. Feldman

    If your tween asks why she can't do something, Why Not creates baffling excuses that end the discussion. Example: “Because inflation is affecting the manufacturing sector.”

  • Craig M. Feldman

    When you need some “me” time, download eBaby. Simply enter a description of your tyke in your eBaby profile, and then open the auctioning to find the lowest-priced babysitter.

  • Craig M. Feldman

    Tired of hearing about your tween's drama-riddled friendships? GeeMail chimes in with “Gee, I can't believe Amy texted you that Sienna is her BFF now!” at regular intervals, so you can tune out.

  • Craig M. Feldman

    Wish you could watch Terminator 2 with your PG-age son? Minus the R edits out an R-rated movie's adult scenes and language, leaving you with 17 minutes of family viewing pleasure.

  • Craig M. Feldman

    YouTuba provides 1,000+ compelling arguments to get your kid to actually practice that expensive instrument he begged you to buy.

  • Craig M. Feldman

    Late with lunch? Then serve iMacandCheese. Staring at the app's 3-D renderings of this kiddie-menu favorite will hold them off until mealtime.

  • Craig M. Feldman

    Need someone to model good behavior for your child? GoodKid connects you via video with polite kids in other countries. “Look, Eric. See how well Sigbjörn in Reykjavik is behaving?”

  • Craig M. Feldman

    Hold iPhony's scanner up to that mom you just met to learn whether she's your future yoga partner or just a blowhard who will boast endlessly about her kid's great grades and husband's huge salary.

  • Craig M. Feldman

    Red Carpet Nanny provides untested parenting advice from childless celebs. Problem: “My child always gets carsick. Help!” Solution: “Spray him with my new scent, Tease.” —Paris Hilton

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