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Ridiculous Parenting Products

  • Kickbee

    Kickbee

    An expectant mom wears the Kickbee band around her belly. When the vibration sensors detect the baby kicking, the device can send a tweet. It's meant to be a way to keep the mom's partner, family and friends involved and up to date when they can't be physically near. Cute in theory, Twitter trolling in practice.

    Tags: Gear
  • Mommy Essentials

    The Babykeeper

    It's a purse. It's a flier. No, it's your baby hanging from the side of a public bathroom stall! Yes, setting your precious cargo on the floor of a bathroom is germy and undesirable. But we're thinking you'll probaly enjoy more peace of mind if baby is safely in a stroller or car seat, or even awkwardly astride one knee.

    Tags: Gear
  • Amazon.com

    Piggyback Rider

    Sometimes your toddler can't see over the heads in a crowd. We're thinking a classic piggyback ride is solution enough. Paying for a modified piggyback ride is beyond our list of reasonable expenses.

    Tags: Gear
  • Heelarious

    Heelarious

    Short answer: No. Long answer: No, because babies wearing shoes before they can walk is already silly, and heels are just unnecessary. Heels are a bit torturous when you're old enough to wear them; let's not start the habit just yet.

    Tags: Gear
  • First Cleats

    First Cleats

    Just like they can't appreciate high heels, they can't use soccer cleats, either. The world may have gone World Cup crazy this year, but that doesn't need to be reflected in baby's footwear.

    Tags: Gear
  • Etsy.com

    Barefoot Baby Sandals

    Barefoot sandals are ridiculous for wearers of any age. But what good is it to give babies decorated pieces of string to wrap around their tiny toes?

    Tags: Gear
  • Distractify.com

    WhyCry

    As babies do, your child is crying again. What could it be? This fun little gadget says it can tell you why baby is crying. Seems like it's a tool that will be best used in the teen years, since it breaks categories down as bored, sleepy, hungry, annoyed or stressed.

    Tags: Gear
  • Crumb Cap

    Crumb Cap

    Cleaning up after a meal can be a hassle—but, really? Why don't they just take the jump and make it in the shape of a ski mask to save us all the time and pain of washing their faces off, too.

    Tags: Gear
  • Moo Mixer

    Moo Mixer

    The Moo Mixer mixes your milk for you. Back in the day, moms and kids had to mix chocolate milk by hand. You had to look at the bottom of a glass to make sure no chocolate was stuck. It was a strenuous activity akin to churning butter, but by golly they did it.

    Tags: Gear
  • Target.com

    iPotty

    For the tech-loving tot, here's an iPotty, a convenient way to play on the iPad and potty train at the same time! We're thinking toddlers can wait to multitask for a few years more at least.

    Tags: Gear
  • Potty Training Concepts

    Travel Urinal

    Public bathrooms can be germ-filled, but we find it even less appealing to have our children pee on our hands while they try to aim into a bottle.

    Tags: Gear
  • Buy Buy Baby

    My Carry Potty

    Continuing on the traveling potty trend: My Carry Potty. Yes, you can take your potty training toilet with you wherever you go! The best part: For those who prefer a posh and pretty potty, they can request a My Carry Potty covered in Swarovski crystals.

    Tags: Gear
  • Amazon.com

    Perfume for Babies

    Brands like Dolce & Gabana and Burberry have even jumped on this bandwagon. A perfume for baby, because even infants need scents for every mood and occasion.

    Tags: Gear
  • Babi-kini

    Babi-kini

    Bikinis for babies. Be sure to untie the shoulder straps if you're worried about tan lines getting in the way of her summer glow. Oh, wait, that's ridiculous, just like a baby wearing a string bikini. That will definitely be able to accommodate her swim diaper.

    Tags: Gear
  • Baby Mop

    Baby Mop

    Who has time to clean the floors when you're chasing a crawling baby around the house? Well, baby does if he is wearing a baby mop. Is it taking fair advantage of an opportunity? Yes. Is it creating a germ magnet for baby to wear? Also, yes.

    Tags: Gear
  • Crawlings

    Crawlings Knee Pads

    Crawling is tough work, but their tiny knees will toughen up quickly. If you're really worried about it, cut the ends off an old pair of tube socks and slide those over their knees instead.

    Tags: Gear

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