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Ridiculous Parenting Products
An expectant mom wears the Kickbee band around her belly. When the vibration sensors detect the baby kicking, the device can send a tweet. It's meant to be a way to keep the mom's partner, family and friends involved and up to date when they can't be physically near. Cute in theory, Twitter trolling in practice.
- Mommy Essentials
It's a purse. It's a flier. No, it's your baby hanging from the side of a public bathroom stall! Yes, setting your precious cargo on the floor of a bathroom is germy and undesirable. But we're thinking you'll probaly enjoy more peace of mind if baby is safely in a stroller or car seat, or even awkwardly astride one knee.
- First Cleats
Just like they can't appreciate high heels, they can't use soccer cleats, either. The world may have gone World Cup crazy this year, but that doesn't need to be reflected in baby's footwear.
Barefoot sandals are ridiculous for wearers of any age. But what good is it to give babies decorated pieces of string to wrap around their tiny toes?
- Crumb Cap
Cleaning up after a meal can be a hassle—but, really? Why don't they just take the jump and make it in the shape of a ski mask to save us all the time and pain of washing their faces off, too.
- Moo Mixer
The Moo Mixer mixes your milk for you. Back in the day, moms and kids had to mix chocolate milk by hand. You had to look at the bottom of a glass to make sure no chocolate was stuck. It was a strenuous activity akin to churning butter, but by golly they did it.
- Potty Training Concepts
Public bathrooms can be germ-filled, but we find it even less appealing to have our children pee on our hands while they try to aim into a bottle.
- Buy Buy Baby
Continuing on the traveling potty trend: My Carry Potty. Yes, you can take your potty training toilet with you wherever you go! The best part: For those who prefer a posh and pretty potty, they can request a My Carry Potty covered in Swarovski crystals.
Brands like Dolce & Gabana and Burberry have even jumped on this bandwagon. A perfume for baby, because even infants need scents for every mood and occasion.
Bikinis for babies. Be sure to untie the shoulder straps if you're worried about tan lines getting in the way of her summer glow. Oh, wait, that's ridiculous, just like a baby wearing a string bikini. That will definitely be able to accommodate her swim diaper.
- Baby Mop
Crawling is tough work, but their tiny knees will toughen up quickly. If you're really worried about it, cut the ends off an old pair of tube socks and slide those over their knees instead.