Tori Spelling Shares 17 Secrets About Life With Kids

When I finally meet Tori, she's in her all-white kitchen sitting in a makeup chair (we're turning her into Jean Harlow in honor of Halloween, “my fave holiday!”). “I can't believe the kids are letting you dress them,” she says. “They never let anybody dress them.” Pleasant chitchat ensues, and I can easily see why this girl has 164,768 Facebook friends, 448,892 Twitter followers, and millions of fans who follow her every move on Oxygen's Tori & Dean: Home Sweet Hollywood, the most popular of her myriad TV shows. She's also a three-time New York Times bestselling author, with a new book on party planning, CelebraTORI, debuting this spring, and a jewelry line on HSN that sells faster than scary-face pancakes on Halloween at IHOP. There's even a David and Goliath—type mantra named after one of her most memorable TV characters (“Donna Martin graduates!”).

Her lineage is strong—she was sort of born with a silver spoon in her mouth, in case you hadn't heard—but these days, she's more likely to be fascinated with teething rings (she likes those shaped like Sophie the Giraffe). In short, people feel they know her. Still, we managed to uncover 17 “Tori-isms” that few have ever heard about…