Now this question’s a little harder.  Have you ever been part of a mom clique that excluded someone else?  I have.  But this is harder to pinpoint because when you’re part of the clique, you’re so comfortable and self-absorbed that you often don’t even realize what you’re doing. Read More

I can’t believe it’s been a year already. You came into this world on August 29, 2009 at 11:39 a.m. via a scheduled c-section, at 7 lbs., 5 oz., 20 ½ inches tall. And whoa, was I nervous. Not to become a mom, no, I was nervous for the surgery. So much so they had to sedate me before I even made it into the OR. You should’ve seen how cute your dad looked in his scrubs though – like a giddy new father, he couldn’t wait to meet you. Thank god he was able to keep me calm while we waited and waited for the good doctor to deliver you. Dr. Sibul is his name, and he’s one of the finest OB-GYNs in Chicago. Only the best for my baby! So what if his watch seems to be two hours behind everyone else’s… Read More

Anyway, boss lady calls me in and I’m all, “What did I do now?” and she’s all, “If you repeat any of what I’m about to tell you, I will deny I said it and fire your ass.” Wide-eyed and gape-jawed, I listened as she explained the pay disparity between me and my mostly male, mostly white counterparts with the same experience (and less drive) than me; seemed that every one of them was making, on average, about $20K more than me, and, get this, they were getting bonuses every year.

In womanly solidarity, boss lady upped my salary and hit me off with a bonus; it wasn’t what the men were making, but the extra in my paycheck sure was appreciated.

All of this came rushing back to me recently when I read this story celebrating the 90th anniversary of the enactment of the 19th Amendment—the amendment that granted women the right to vote—and imploring the U.S. Senate to pass the Paycheck Fairness Act, a new equal pay law that would make it tough for businesses to get away with discriminating against women. President Obama, who says he'll sign the law once it makes its way through the Senate, says the law would help not only women, but the economic security of our families. For sure, women are still making only 77 cents for every dollar earned by equally qualified men. And the wage gap is even greater for women of color, mothers, and women with more years of work experience. Even crazier? There’s also a HUGE disparity between the salaries and hiring of mothers vs. non-mothers. 

Now what are we going to do about it? Read More

As Wanda approaches her first birthday, I find myself concerned about her emotional stability.  She really does cry WAY more than the rest of us.  Sometimes she is such a baby. Read More

I am very fortunate that my husband -- a part-time SAHD -- sees his role as every bit the hands-on parent that I am. If we’re keeping score, he actually does more of the heavy lifting. He’s responsible for replenishing the nursery, and does the weekly Target trips -- for that alone he gets Father of the Year. He’s home a lot more than I am, due to a less demanding work schedule (he owns a Chicago hot dog and Italian beef joint, and thus works for himself). Sometimes it feels like I am the less hands-on one, frankly, which is something I’m still trying to come to terms with, as a full-time working mom. But the guilt doesn’t plague me the way it used to, for better or worse. Read More

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© Denene Millner

You want a black mom to die a thousand deaths? Have her daughter tell her that she would prefer long blonde hair to her kinky afro.

Trust: We considered a Drop Squad-styled indoctrination—you know, kidnapping her, putting her in a dark interrogation room with a harsh, bright light, with a table full of down-ass natural sistas who would spend hours reading “Happy To Be Nappy,” and “I Love My Hair” through a bullhorn until she publicly swore off any delusions of silky, swinging, blonde hair. But seeing she was still a preschooler and all, we figured that would be a little much. Read More

Our four-year-old fridge broke down again this morning.  Last time it cost over $500 to repair a similar problem so we decided we’d better get a new one.

We’re getting used to the idea of spending thousands of dollars we don’t have because two weeks ago Laylee misplaced her hearing aids and after tearing our house to shreds of oblivion looking for them, today we decided to go ahead and order another pair.  We’ll just refer to them as the most expensive glasses/retainer ever lost by a seven-year-old. Read More