Finding Joy in a Great Plate of Grandma's Mac & Cheese
September 18, 2009
I don’t know that my mom loved to cook as much as she dug the reactions she got from her standout meals. A daughter of the South, Bettye was renowned for her southern dishes, and her macaroni and cheese was the stuff of legend. People heard she was whipping up a pan, and they’d get into car accidents and break stuff and whatnot trying to get in line for a heaping serving before it was all gone. It wasn’t an easy dish to make back then; the grocery stores didn’t have those glorious pre-shredded bags of cheese, so she had to scrape countless blocks of sharp and mild cheddar over her beat-up hand-held shredder to get the right amount of cheese she needed for ginormous pans of mac and cheese, which should explain why she wasn’t a fan of the cooking part.
As a kid, I didn’t quite get my mom’s foot dragging in the kitchen; I’d beg her to let me help, and on the days when she’d hand over a block of cheese for me to shred, I’d handle it with great glee. I loved helping out in the kitchen! But as a mom charged with cooking three squares for a family of five most days of the week, I kinda get it now. After the writing and the chores and the homework help and the after-school activities, I barely want to think through what to cook, let alone stand over a hot stove. It’s plain exhausting.
Which is why I’m training my girls how to handle themselves in the kitchen. Oh, it’s not a game: I’ve had Mari and Lila cracking eggs, seasoning chicken, slicing fruit (with kid-friendly knives), and buttering biscuits practically from the moment they were able to walk themselves into the kitchen. And for the past three years, I’ve enrolled them in summer camps at a nearby children’s cooking school, Young Chef’s Academy, so that they can up the ante on their kitchen skills. There, they’ve learned how to make homemade pasta, chili, grilled shrimp skewers, peach cobbler, epanadas -- the dinner list goes on and on. And when they weren’t practicing their summer camp dishes, I was propping them up on the step stool so they could witness how to steam collards, flour fish, roll meatballs, flip pancakes -- all of it -- just like my mom taught me.
Admittedly, I’ve been teaching them how to cook for selfish reasons. I’m thinking that by the time they hit their teens, my girls should be able to whip up a dinner sans much help from me. I’m looking forward to the day that I can just show up to the kitchen and fix myself a hot plate cooked by someone else, and then push away from the table and go on about my business while someone else cleans up the dishes. (Insert Denene with a look of euphoria on her face here.)
What I didn’t expect, though, was the pure joy we’d get out of slaving over the stove together. The girls like to cook, but they love all the creating and stirring and laughing and singing and dancing we do as we work to get dinner finished. I mean, we have a good time, okay?
And, yeah, I guess I can admit that giving my girls an appreciation for their grandmother’s recipes, and especially spending time with my babies in the kitchen, makes me love cooking a little more, too -- even on days when a call to the Chinese restaurant would just make mama feel a wee bit better.
For sure, I’m hoping my girls’ love of cooking will stick, even on days when they’d much prefer someone else do it. And especially on the days when they’ll set up the step stool and let their own children learn a few of my best recipes, handed down to me from my mom.
Nothing, after all, warms the heart like a great plate of Gamma Bettye’s mac and cheese.
And through that magical confection of cheese and macaroni elbows and flour and butter and milk, we all live, and laugh, and learn.
To see recipes from Mari and Lila’s online cookbook, visit their Home Made Love pages on MyBrownBaby.
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Ultimate reward indeed!
I should clarify that I DO love cooking, just when I FEEL like it, not at the end of a long, hard day when I HAVE to. But the girls make it feel much better on these days—and most importantly, they won't embarrass me when they grow up and can cook a decent meal for someone they love. That, after all, is the ultimate showing of love, isn't it?
Everyone should know how to
Everyone should know how to cook—man and woman. Knowing this skill will just make your girls that much closer to being Renaissance women when they get older. Congratulations on instilling this love in them. Sounds like you all have a ball together, which is the ultimate reward.
Although I did not get to
Although I did not get to partake in cooking with my mom, I definitely enjoy cooking with my girls. We stick to baking since they are only 4 and 2. We all enjoy the time we share cooking, singing, and laughing. You know you have to have a sense of humor when cooking with little ones :)
Your daughters...
@LaTonya: Your daughters will look back at those special moments fondly, and appreciate every moment they got to spend with you—even if you guys are just pouring cereal. You should write some of your recipes down for them so that they'll have those cherished memories later in life...
Memories!!
OMG, this post brings back some memories. My mom's parents are from the south too (South Carolina), and my stepdad's family is from Alabama. Growing up, my stepdad did all the cooking. My mom can't stand to be in the kitchen. I used to hate it when my stepdad made me grate those gigantic blocks of cheese, especially for big holidays. It felt like I was in the kitchen grating cheese all day! But I loved eating his mac and cheese after it finished baking. I used to also hat (and still don't like it) cutting and peeling potatoes for potato salad. It's both a blessing and a curse that I make good potato salad!
RE: Memories
OMG: I was responsible for peeling the potatoes for the potato salad, too!!! LOL!!! And the sweet potatoes for the candied yams. Those were the more challenging of the jobs, but I went at it with gusto—and a BIG knife (my mom didn't own one of those potato peelers; her knives were good enough for her!). Ah, but the skills we picked up, huh?
That's a good idea. I can
That's a good idea. I can keep the recipe with the pics I recruit my husband to take of us. Thanks!!!
We often make attempts to
We often make attempts to cook when our niece is over for dinner and make sure to include her in the process. She is 5 years old and at the age where she enjoys helping out. It gives her something to do and gives her a feeling of accomplishment. It also hopefully gives her an idea of what her parents go through everyday to make her meals.