- categories
- Pregnancy Symptoms
- Pregnancy Emotions
- Pregnancy Problems
- Pregnancy Complications
- Unplanned Pregnancy
- Twins
- Multiples
- popular articles
- Pregnancy Symptoms: First Trimester
- Pregnancy Symptoms: Second Trimester
- Pregnancy Symptoms: Third Trimester
- 10 Pregnancy Symptoms That Nobody Told You About
- Moms' Best Pregnancy Remedies
- 10 Pregnancy Myths
- Pregnant From Head to Toe
- 9 Health Tests Every Mom Should Have
- When Spotting Is Normal
- Are You Infected?
- 9 Health Symptoms Moms Shouldn’t Ignore
- Your Guide to Pregnancy Checkups
- The Pregnancy Prescription
- Eating (Well) for Two
- Ectopic-Pregnancy Signs
- all health & symptoms
- popular articles
- A Weighty Issue
- Help! What Can I Eat
- Eating (Well) for Two
- The Weighting Game
- Weird Pregnancy Cravings
- Tea: When to Avoid Green
- Overweight and Pregnant: Dos and Don’ts
- Food-Safety Cheat Sheet
- When Pregnancy Tastes Funny
- Confessions Of a Pregnant Nutritionist
- Ask Dr. Sears: Pregnant and Caffeinated?
- all eating well
- popular articles
- Boy or Girl? Fun Ways to Predict Baby's Gender
- Strange But True Pregnancy Tales
- Guide to Breastfeeding
- The Real Poop on Labor
- Can You Prevent Preterm Labor?
- Will You Be a Good Mother?
- Tips For Jumpstarting Labor
- The State of Maternity Leave
- How Pregnancy Changes Love
- The Pros and Cons of Learning the Sex of Your Baby
- Suck it! The REAL Way to Prep for Breastfeeding
- all planning
- popular articles
- Flattering Maternity Swimwear: 20+ Editor's Picks
- 9 Best Baby Carriers
- 12 Pregnancy Must-Haves
- 11 Maternity Jeans We Love
- 10 Must-Have Maternity Wear Pieces
- Hospital Bag Checklist
- 10 Best Feeding Picks
- 10 Best Baby Shower Gifts
- 11 Best Gear Picks for Baby Activities
- The Best and Worst Baby Gifts
- 11 Best Diapering Picks
- all buying guides
© Simon Eugster from Wikipedia
1 of 12
Editor's note: We're huge supporters of breastfeeding at Parenting.com. In fact, a bunch of our staffers are moms who have infants, and they're pumping at work, every day. This humor piece is NOT meant to discourage breastfeeding in any way. It's more of a tongue-in-cheek take on some of the challenges associated with nursing -- because, hey, we've been there. Cheers to you for working hard to feed your baby, and we hope this piece brings you a smile.
Day 1
Gently rub your nipples with sandpaper.
See Also:
Check out some useful tips from the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) on how to get started
The Guide to Breastfeeding
What every mom should know about her legal and moral rights when it comes to breastfeeding
Comments (3) Write a comment
Your Comment
All submitted comments are subject to the license terms set forth in our Privacy Policy and Terms of Use







This is hysterical. I hope I'm still laughing when it's my turn to breastfeed!
Oh wow!! I laughing soo hard I'm crying! Sounds about right : ) I may have to read this again for a laugh when I am breastfeeding baby number two in 4.5 months... it will prob be much needed. boy, us breastfeeding moms really are brave, aren't we?
that iz the most crazy thing i ever herd