Q. When I talk to friends who work outside the home, I hear about all the fun and interesting things they’re doing, and I just can’t relate. I get the feeling they think I’m dreadfully boring because I’m a stay-at-home mother. How can I keep connected with them?
A. First off, both you and your friends need to recognize that stay-at-home moms and working-outside-the-home (WOTH) moms aren’t from different planets (that’s men and women). Not always an easy task, I know.
While your WOTH friends talk about going out to lunch for the perfect burger, you may think about how you’re wearing a lunch of peas and breast milk; or while they recall how they snagged fabulous new clothes on sale, you may recall how you have trouble deciding between navy and gray sweats. Before long, you may start to view the grass as greener on the other side and see your own lawn as one big, boring patch of weeds. I’ve been on both sides of the home/office property line. The greenest grass is always AstroTurf.
What you’re hearing from your WOTH friends is not a play-by-play of their real life but a highlight reel. Full disclosure would definitely be more boring. Your pals may brag because they think you have it made — what with all your homemade meals, comfy stretch pants, and oodles of baby time. Every mom has to deal with tedium, whether it’s the millionth diaper change or the boss’s millionth request at work. Keep connected with weekend playdates and Friday night pizza parties, or by enlisting the dads’ help so you and your buddy can go out to talk about the guys behind their backs (a common interest!). By the way, if you have a WOTH friend who really treats you like a bore, she’s just not WOTH your time. (Sorry, couldn’t help myself.)