You are here

Get Answers

Sometimes it's nice to get advice from experts with a lot of letter degrees behind their names, but other times, you just need to hear what another parent (with a M.O.M. behind her name) has done that has worked. You've got questions? These moms have answers.

11 wks and so confused. B.D. problems. Help!!!

5 answers
So my Bd and I were seeing each other everyday for abt 2 months. The first time we had sex I got pregnant. I found out a day after he left for work. With his job, he travels all year long. Like any other unplanned pregnancy, he was n shock for a while. We have had ups & downs lately. Were not officially "a couple" but have talked about it. He says he likes me so much, he even asks me to b his gf & then changes his mind. Long story short, he wants his cake and to eat it 2. he's 27 yrs old, I'm 21. He's immature, still goes out with his friends flirts with girls, & lies str8 to my face when I ask him. He acts like he cares abt this baby but doesn't know how to show it. His family is still 2gether,but my parents split when I was 8. It hasn't gave me hope 4 love or a family that won't eventually b broken. I'm scared and wish he understood more. Friends say that reality will hit him on the ultrasound, or as soon as the baby is here. I'm so stressed but hopeful, I have been on an emotional rollercoaster these past few months. Please help, I am in need of understanding advice from somebody in a similar situation.

answers (5)

Give him time, He will come around. My bf is 28 and he went out and took walks; he(your B.D) is just stressed. Chris(bf) relaxed and I'm 33 weeks, and he is happy and never leaves my side now. He just needs to get over the shock, i know it's hard, i'd wake up and he'd be gone, just give him some time. Hope it helps..
While he may just very well need time to adjust and sink in the news, plan for the worst just in case. The only people in the world you can count on is your and your baby. Give him time and try not to force it on him. I hope for the best for you!
Thank u for the advice. I'm trying my best to be patient. I haven't spoke to him in over a week now. He hasnt even called. And it's Christmas. Idk if it's all the hormones and I'm over reacting, but I'm really hurt. He's so on and off with me. He alienates me from his life. Should I try harder or just give up?
Try doing adoption counsiling. Even if you aren't considering adoption, it's free. Standard adoption counsiling gives you a chance to talk to someone neutral and go over all your options. You would do worksheets that help you plan out several different scenerios. Adoption agencies that are trying to prevent abortions usually will bend over backward to help you in every way possible and consider you a success story no matter what happens as long as the baby lives, this can include maternity clothing, help with rent, transportation, or whatever other issues you may face. I've done this myself, and ended up keeping the baby and raising him. The adoption agency never made me feel bad or guilty and never tried to pressure me.
There's a saying that goes, "A woman becomes a mother as soon as she's pregnant, a man becomes a father after the baby is born." Your boyfriend could be like that. Or, he may just be immature. Only time will tell.

*DISCLAIMER's Answers are provided by members of our community. While your fellow moms and our editors have plenty of great advice to offer based on their experience, it is not a substitute for professional medical help. Always consult a medical professional when seeking medical advice. All submitted answers are subject to the rules set forth in our Privacy Policy and Terms of Use