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29 weeks and dealing with this.. any opinions are more than welcome.
So i am now 29 weeks pregnant and recently a problem has risen in my home... My fiancé's friend has recently moved in with us.. Ill give you guys the whole low down on this, so my fiancé's friend Ron had gotten kicked out of his home because him and his ex wife were fighting. My fiancé trying to be a nice guy and hoping his friend would split our expensive rent had asked him if he wanted to move in with us. Now me.. i was not too sure about it at first but because we have a baby on the way i figured sure, why not save some cash so we can buy the essentials for our baby. so after an hour of my fiancé trying to convince me i finally agreed and his friend was to move in that night. He showed up we blew up the air mattress and placed it in our living room since we only have a one bedroom apartment. At first everything was nice. He helped keep the house clean, washed his dishes, kept his stuff off the floor, had good manners and even got my fiancé helping more around the house. But as time passed by he started leaving his laundry on our living room floor... He would leave his dishes expecting me to wash them, he would put his dirty shoes ON TOP of my fiancé's shoes on our small shoe spot and would lay his stuff out around not caring if he had to push our stuff out of the way. On top of that. he messes up the fridge after i try and tell them to keep it clean, he is unbelievably ill mannered now; burping, farting, and making dirty comments with ought shame. I let his behavior slide for about two weeks. But now, his rude behavior is rubbing off onto my fiancé!! and as if thats not enough, My fiancé is starting to make remarks as if he were single! ( wanting to go out and leave me home, wanting to drink, and making remarks about other womens appearances ) So i am utterly and completely at a loss. Im having a baby in a little less of two months and this is most definitely NOT the example he should have around him. So what should i do? MY fiancé is telling me we need him to live with us because we need to save the money. and hes telling me we will move to a bigger apartment so he has his own room.. but im not sure if that will fix anything.. thank you for reading... im truly desperate. And honestly can barely clean up after myself let alone two grown men.
i would talk to ur fiance and tell him how u feel..thats not an enviornment u want to be raising a baby in and remind him he is NOT single man and shouldnt be drinking alot and makin comments about other women..you dont want his friend ruining ur relationship, so get him out asap unless he changes his way..and as for the money issue, its not worth the stress of him living with you..good luck hope everything works out!
i agree with jessandmike08 i wouldnt let his friend ruin my relationship you need to tell him hes not single hes shouldnt be drinking alot and hes married to you so he should never make comments about other womens apperances thats not what you want around your baby you need to get him out
Give him 2 weeks to find his own place. After that, if he hasn't left, call the cops and have him evicted. You do not need to be having the stress of two man-children.
Get your home in order, honey! You were kind enough to allow this man in your home. It doesnt sound like he's gotten a divorce, so he has his own family responsibilities to take care and in all honesty, its not your problem. Your problem is your husband and your baby. That's it. Is he even contributing financially? It sounds like no matter how much he might be contributing to the bills, its not worth the heartache. He needs to leave. You need to nest and get prepared with your husband acting like himself and not some single college guy.
I will be the first to tell you that having a room mate while pregnant is NOT a good thing. My experience was a bit different but when I first got married, 5 yrs ago, my husband and his cousin lived in a 2 bedroom apartment. I made it clear that I didn't want a room mate (even thought sharing cost was a plus) but its not worth it. I deserved my own space and privacy and you do the same. I talked to my husband's cousin and made him understand where I was coming from and a few weeks later, he was gone. He understood and respected my wishes. If this guy is a true friend, he needs to get his behind up and make things better with his fiance or move out. Give him a deadline. Seems like this guy is getting too comfortable and if your fiance isn't telling him anything, he thinks its fine with you too. Be clear and stand up...lots of luck with your baby and situation =)
You need to be brutally honest with him. Remove all emotions from the conversation, and line out everything that you mentioned above. Base it all about fact and observations that you've seen. I know that its going to be very hard but stay rational throughout the entire conversation. You have to emphasize that you, your fiance and the baby are starting a new life together. There are ways to cut costs besides inviting another person in your life. And the way the "friend" is acting and its effects your husband is detrimental to the relationship. You can tell him how you feel, but do not react to the feelings that you are mentioning. He'll see how serious you are and how serious the situation is, if he truely loves you, the baby and your future, things will change. If they don't at least you've communicated your point of view and are requesting for him to meet you half way to a compromise.
i can see how you may think having him around is benifiting you finacially but the stress and strain on you and your baby is not worth it. I dont know how he could think that moving into a bigger place would make anything easier, it would just be like inviting his buddy into your home more permanetly and with baby on the way the last thing you or your fiance should be worried about doing is trying to get a new appartment that accomidates your "house guest". when the baby is here i'm sure that room will come in handy for many other things or if it doesnt than rent a smaller place and save money that way... either way you need to put your foot down and let him know that this issue needs to be solved immediatly and that by him acting like a single man is imature and inopropriate behavior for a father-to-be...
wow i seriously think that you need to talk to your fioncee about how you feel in your condition you should not have to clean up after two grown man and he should not be acting like a jerk with his if i were single comments.you need all the support and love from your fioncee because of all the changes your body is going through yeah the extra money comes in handy but not at tha price. if things are this bad now dont wait till the baby is here to do or say something because believe me once your baby gets here you will have your hands fullgood luck girl and speak up and tell him how you feel !!!!