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Bab relationship between my husband and mom is causing me so much stress at 9 wks. Help Please~!!!! (read below)

2 answers
We live about 15 minutes from my parents. I love my family and love being around them. My husband has been so annoyed with my mom and recently wrote her, what feels like to me a mean awful email specifying every little thing about her that he can't stand. She wrote him back and said she was sorry, defended herself on a few of the issues and said she'd try and work on things. He writes her back and goes off on how she won't change and she doesn't care at all... Now, I know he is my husband and I should be on his side no matter what (he tells me this often). I feel like he wrong. I don't agree with what he is saying or how he is going about it. I think he is being rude, nit picky, etc. This is our 3rd baby and right now because of this starting it, I feel very distant from my husband. He is a cop and money is tight, so he works alot. But lately he works CONSTANTLY. I am SO SICK and by choice (cause of work) he is never home to help me do anything and if he is, he makes me feel guilty that I sleep in an hour or two. I am so exhausted and sick. I feel like I dont' even like him right now. So much more goes into this, but.. I need advice. He is distant and mean and even when he rarely is home, he's not really there. He's on the phone 24/7 and everything is "feel sorry for him" type thing. I am losing my mind. It's like he's trying to make me mad. I know this is petty, but he knows I hate a goatee and he starts growing one. I try to act like none of this is happening and things are normal, but its hard. I look at him and am so mad. Is it just pregnancy horomones making me feel like this.. I don't know, I need outside advice. PLEASE!

answers (2)

none of this is your fault. my fiance of 6yrs and my mother hated each other so much and he would say some bad things to her and i would confront him, but you cant let your mother make choices about your relationship or baby for you, that's why my fiance hated my mother so much. they came around to each other and now they're like family. about your husband, i would have a LONG talk with him and if he doesnt want to do that with you then he's not worth all the trouble. treat him like he treats you. whenever my man does that, that's what i do to him and he feels horrible and he apoligizes for everything he's been putting me through. i hope this advice helps you. good luck :)
Hormones can do some crazy things.  Things like his goatee bothering you may be hormones. Him not being around or giving you a hard time about being tired may not be hormones. He could be feeling a great deal of stress that one more mouth to feed causes.  Hopefully the sickness passes quickly and you will do more around the house etc. but you should still calmly talk to him about how you are feeling. For me, treating my husband how I feel I'm being treated doesn't work.  He just doesn't get it or the things that bother me don't bother him.  Usually when I do everything I can to treat him better than I am being treated puts him in a better mood and he is kinder and more understanding.  If he doesn't pick up the good attitude then I can feel better about saying that I am doing everything I can think of to make his life easier.  I know it's especially hard when you are feeling sick and little things just set you off, but even crying it out can get his attention enough to remind him what you are going through.  When I am at my worst I get really emotional and my husband knows to take me seriously if I start to cry, because I wouldn't be crying if something wasn't really wrong.  Maybe you can find a way to get him to really take you seriously and hopefully snap him out of it.

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