You are here

Get Answers

Sometimes it's nice to get advice from experts with a lot of letter degrees behind their names, but other times, you just need to hear what another parent (with a M.O.M. behind her name) has done that has worked. You've got questions? These moms have answers.

How do I get his (and his families) attention?

4 answers
I am currently very pregnant with my fourth child (my current boyfriend and I's third together). Anyway, no one is prepared for this baby and being that I cannot go to work right now, someone should at least buy this baby boy a bottle or something. Normally, I wouldn't feel this sense of entitlement but my boyfriend has a cousin who is 33 weeks along and she doesn't even associate with the family and she was taken on a $400.00 shopping trip by grandma. What angers me even more is that my man just totally doesn't even care that his son is going to come out with nothing to wear or sleep in. Forget the romance part for now, I have gained thirty pounds, already lost my mucus plug and the baby's head down and extremely heavy (I'm waddling now). So at this point I'll be in labor within the week. (Hopefully) I also don't have much family and what family I do have either don't have kids or don't have two nickles to rub together. This isn't just about stuff either. I feel like because I'm not black that I will never be a part of his family. They constantly exclude me from family functions. I guess I will have to post an ad asking for donations ............

answers (4)

Wow, I am upset that you feel this way and already have three children together with this man. Did you save any money from when you was working? It sounds like you already knew from jump start that his family was not going to participate in buying your baby anything, so this is something you should have been trying to achieve when you first found out you was pregnant. Most important, why is it that he has not purchased these important items for you. It is obvious that you are a couple cause you note about romance, but bump a nut this topic should have been touched on months ago. If they exclude you from family events and he allows it then that is a major issue you should discuss with him to see what the issue could be? Last thing you need to raise is race being an issue, it can be many reason one family can not connect with the spouse or mother of child to a family memeber besider race. I am not sure on your location in the US but you can go on craiglist and look up free stuff and see if any one is giving about baby stuff. Another thing you might want to breastfeed or look for temporary assistance for the mean time. If they do not want to help you than you must want to help yourself. If you have a friend that can run errands for you than do so. Lastly, think about where your children and you stand in your life. Having the father of your child in your life is not a MUST it is an OPTION. Get focus and do what is best for your children and you, having to post an ad asking for donations should be unnessecary and not an option. Good Luck! Hope I helped 
Maybe I was too emotional yesterday but what I don't need is harsh criticism. I know for a fact that it is definitely about race because I've heard it for myself over the phone. I thought that maybe I could get them to come around after a while. And as I said Ihave other children to care for, so any money I had went to the care of them. If you have children, then you know they always need something. And as far as being prepared goes I paid cash money that I didn't have for birth control that obviously didn't work. I also am a 31 year old divorcee with enough experience to know that having a man is an option. I love myself too. If he was a deadbeat dad, then there wouldn't be a reason to ask for advice, I would just leave him but he is wonderful with our two other children and with my oldest who isn't even his. He's the one buying pull-ups, diapers, wipes and Hannah Montana everything. We just moved to his hometown so he could be around his family, so I don't know where to go for help with baby stuff. Once he is born I know of two places to go plus I guess I will have to find a job after my six week checkup ........i just thought I could get some helpful advice seeing as every other response to questions I have seen on here were so nice and sweetly helpful. Is it my lot in life for everyone to be rude to me?
Oh, by the way I just checked my email and the online ad that I posted on asking for help on fort campbell yard got a few responses so I'm just going to roll with that. Thanks anyways..... : {
I know there are some planned parenthood type places for moms that need help that give out the essentials for the first few weeks, maybe try a non-profit place like that. I know some of your pain, my babys dad was cheating on me throughout the first 4 months i was prego and months before that and when he left after i found out he has not even talked to me or even acted like he cared about our baby. Stay strong girl, remember you have to do this for that little baby, he needs you!

*DISCLAIMER's Answers are provided by members of our community. While your fellow moms and our editors have plenty of great advice to offer based on their experience, it is not a substitute for professional medical help. Always consult a medical professional when seeking medical advice. All submitted answers are subject to the rules set forth in our Privacy Policy and Terms of Use