You are here

Get Answers

Sometimes it's nice to get advice from experts with a lot of letter degrees behind their names, but other times, you just need to hear what another parent (with a M.O.M. behind her name) has done that has worked. You've got questions? These moms have answers.

I need help?!

9 answers
my bf and i have always fight and get physical from time to time bu when i told him the news he stopped and now he is back to pushing me down and/or shoving me down when i piss him off. what is it i can do cuz i ask him not to that he could hurt our baby he says well i didnt. and when i latter ask him to say sry for what he did to me he wont he says he doesnt care what i think.

answers (9)

This is a problem.  Although he is not trying to hurt the baby and the baby is protected somewhat by you and the sac, this is a very dangerous game you two are playing.  You really should consider distancing yourself from him.  It is never ok to put your hands on one another -- baby or no baby!  And now that you are resposible for your child's life, you should consider what is really important, and if this is the enviornment you want to raise your child in.  I do not know the force with which you shove one another but if his force is enough to shove you down, this sounds like abuse.  It doesnt sound like there is anything you can do but walk away.  Please do so before you live to regret it...
This is definitely abuse and you should leave before it turns into something bigger than just shoving. However, even if he hit you in the face it would be safer for the baby than shoving you. I have been in an abusive relationship before so I know how bad it is and how hard it is to leave. My bf started with emotional and mental abuse so by the time he was throwing things at me and hitting things beside my head while I was pregnant with our 3rd child I decided it was time to go. I would definitely leave and tell him there's no way you would even consider coming back unless he stops shoving you and cares how you feel about it. Him not caring about your feelings and how he makes you feel about what he does to you is also a form of abuse. You're better off if you get out now before he really hurts you and possibly the baby as well.
Him pushing you down often and possibly hittting you can cause harm to yu and the baby. One day he might really hurt you. and do u really want to set that kind of example for you baby? I would get out of that relationship..i know its hard but i think you really need to do it for you and the babys sake.
I agree its best if you leave the relationship before he seriously hurts you or the baby. It may be hard but you don't deserve to be treated like that and both yours and the babys life are more important than being in an abusive relationship. Look around there should be a support group to help and other women who have been in similar relationships that can talk to you and help you through it.
leave dont wait untill shoving turns into beating
Pushing/shoving/hitting (no matter how "hard" or if he "meant it" or not) is not okay...especially not when a baby is envolved.  You are going to have to make a very hard decision.  Either distance yourself from your bf until he seeks and completes professional help (anger management) or risk losing your child (either by miscarrage or by a child protective agency).  It sounds harsh, but thats the reality of your situation.  This is very serious (even if you weren't pregnant).  But with a baby on the way more people will get envolved to make sure your baby is in a safe home.  You need to make the choice that is right for you...either give the baby to a home that it will grow up in a safe environment or raise the baby yourself without the BF until he gets professional help.
ask urself would you want your child to have a father that pushed them down? do you want to have to worry about wheither your child is dating someone who pushes them around or if they are harming someone they love? this is not healthy and should be handled quickly..this is not a behavor that is going to change>>>get out
hitting or shoveing is never ok, weather your pregnant or the childs standing next to you. i read today that the baby feels pain as early as 13 weeks. you deserve someone that cares about you, your thoughts, and the wellbeing of your child. sometimes its best to walk away. for the babys sake. ill pray for you. :)
Are you kidding me?? You have got to get away from him. I understasnd how hard that can be because he is the father of your child, but he obviously does'nt care enough about you or your baby to control his anger.

*DISCLAIMER's Answers are provided by members of our community. While your fellow moms and our editors have plenty of great advice to offer based on their experience, it is not a substitute for professional medical help. Always consult a medical professional when seeking medical advice. All submitted answers are subject to the rules set forth in our Privacy Policy and Terms of Use