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I'm 10wks, the father and I broke up after dating a mo, do I tell him?

8 answers
I am 30, and this is my first pregnancy. It was also unplanned. But I have decided to keep it the child. The father and I dated for about a month and half. In the beginning of the relationship, he seemed to want to move things along quickly; exchanging "I love you's", talk of moving in and going on vacations together. Then he abruptly ended the relationship after a small disagreement. I have asked friends and realitives that have meet him what to do, and they have all said not to tell him. They are afraid of his reaction, and what he is capable of doing. But I feel that he has a right to know. My intentions to tell him are not for financial, or even emotional support. And if I tell him, when should I tell him? All I want is the best for my child, and do not want to deprive the baby of a father. But I also don't want to put the child in a custody battle for the rest of its life. Help!!!

answers (8)

I'm a child of divorce. My parents were not together most of my life but I feel that every child should have a chance to know both of their parents. I don't believe that anyone has the right to keep something as special as a child to them self. I would say to tell him that you are pregnant but it's your choice to keep it. If he wants to be part of it's life then great but if not that's fine too. (if you truly are only looking for him to know) Good luck!
Tell him.  If he decides to do anything stupid, you can always call the police and get a restraining order, etc.
i would tell him, unless u fear hes gunna harm u physicaly..u shouldnt worry about a custody battle because im sure u r a fit mother..but if he does want to see his child half time he has the right too..i would tell him..even if he doesnt care to know atleast u tried to give ur baby a father.
I think that you should tell him.  I've seen this happen to my two older sister and I believe that it has only made them stronger moms.  In one situation my sister told the father but my niece is now 8 and he has never decided to be a part of her life.  Which is his lost because he's missing out on one teriffic little girl but at least my sis. told him and we always try to tell my niece that she has a dad and try to tell her about him.  She now has a step-father and she still gets that male romodel from him, her uncles, and grandfathers but everyday we just let her know how much she is loved.  My other sister has struggled with her son's dad since he was born and he is now 3 but at least she did not deprive her son from being with his dad.  I believe that even though his father is a jerk in my opinion a boy still needs his father. I'm very proud of both of my sisters for showing their children how much they love them by giving them the oportunity to know their dads wether the dad stuck around or not it's the guys fault now not my sisters.
I think you should tell him. Every man has the right to know they are expecting a child (weather they accept it or not). Who knows, maybe things can get better between you guys. Don't do it for yourself, do it for your baby.
I agree, you should definitely tell him and don't worry about custody the only way they will take a child from their mother is if the mother is unfit. You obviously are responsible because you have accepted your consequence of having sex. My boyfriends dad bailed out on him and he dislikes him for it, but he always says he loves his mom and his happy she at least gave his father a choice to either be apart of his life or not. It showed him who really cares. It really wouldn't be fair and it would be kind of selfish not to tell the father because 1) It took you both to make the little angel and 2) You would be depriving your child of the chance to know his/her biological father if his/her father decides he wants to be apart of the miracle too. Hope this helped and best of wishes on whatever you decide.
What are your instincts telling you? I understand your concerns (i.e. him coming on strong when it was just a simple relationship) and now you feel as though his previous actions will be amplified with having a baby on the way or in the picture. As much as everyone here has an opinion, you're the one that lives with this decision. The one thing you have on your side is time. Take the time for yourself to really focus on what you want. You can either pretend he was a donor or let him have the opportunity to be a father, either way you have time to decide.

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