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Is my obesity keeping me from making friends?

7 answers
Due to past depression, I became obese. I am no longer depressed, joined weight watchers, and am under a doctor's care to lose the weight slowly. I have made a real effort to get dressed in casual clothes(not just old ratty sweats) with modest makeup and my hair styled. Also, I am trying to be friendly and make small talk without being negative, talking about my health problems, or gossipping. People sometimes seem very friendly, but when I suggest getting together, they decline. I want to know honestly if other moms have any suggestions or could it be, as another blogger wrote me, obesity is so repulsive I won't have friends until I lose it. I have tried moms clubs for two years, art classes, attending church(but not the home groups or classes), and volunteering.

answers (7)

The other blogger needs to take the stick out of her ass and not be so damn rude!  Jeeze.I'm glad you over came your depression, and I'm glad you're being so proactive!Maybe the people you suggest getting together with are busy, or feel threatened (yeah, I know dumb) to be one on one with you.  Why not invite a bunch of people to have lunch with you from church or your volunteer work?  Say to them "Hey guys, let's all go to <place> for lunch <today/tomorrow/next week>!  I think it would be fun to see each other outside of <church/mommy group/art class/volunteer center>!"Good luck!!
If people don't want to be your friend just because you're heavier than them they probably aren't the type of people you would want to be friends with anyway. I agree with trying to get people you go to church with/volunteer with to do something occasionally. If that doesn't work there are support groups that you may be able to get involved in. Good luck!
That blogger is just being mean!  It's hard when you feel all alone.  Just keep trying, you'll find a few good friends that you can connect with.  You sound like a nice person and I'm sure the right group of women is out there for you to connect with.  Don't lose hope!  :)
When I read this it upset me SO bad! That someone would tell you that your weight problem is repulsive is completely RIDICULOUS! It really struck something in me to hear you talk about not having friends. I am extremely shy and have NO friends. One person calls herself my friend and I'm always there for her but she never has time for me. So I know exactly where you're coming from and will be praying for you. I know friends are an important part of life and sometimes it depresses me to think that I have no one. I would just focus on the fact that none of the people who blow you off so easily are worth your time anyways! Good luck.
i think thats terrible someone would say that repulses them for u to be too fat to be there friend if anyones ur true friend they would never talk bad about u and treat u with the up most respect so wat i say is rude people like that repulse me im sure many others feel the same cause thats just not right if i were near id be a great friend to u no matter wat u looklike cause thats how friends are to bad we arent close to one another i havent any friends at the moment either due to everyones so busy wit there lives and has no time for me all i have is my bf our new baby and his family my family has nothing to do wit me due to they dont like my bf but i say o well who cares i love him plus my parents r gone now due to there untimley deaths but u know i do have some great online friends that support me 100% so that makes up for some of those yay hoos that are rude and disrespectful to certain people well i hope things work out for you better and keep up the good work if your losing weight i sure hope i lose my baby flab which isnt reallymuch due to my new baby good luck girl tc
they should stop being so rude i dont care if someones heavy or not if they are a good person i would be their friend anyways but i agree with cleighty if somebody doesent wanna be your friend just because your heavier they dont deserve to be your friend
I know the thing that helps me most when I feel like I don't have friends, which happens much more often now, is to organize and/or attend a social event.  The church I go to is great for that sort of thing, and you can always find someone to talk to.  It is so nice to have someone take an interest.  I know I was really upset thinking that I had no one to throw me a baby shower because I don't have any close friends.  Since then I have had 3 offers from different people wanting to throw me a shower!  It was amazing.  I realized that eventhough I may not be best friends with any one person, I have a lot of people who consider me their friend.  It's great to get that kind of recognition.My sister-in-law was invited to a baby shower of a woman she knew from church.  At first she didn't want to go and thought she wouldn't know anyone.  But when she got there, there were only about 10 people and the person the party was for introduced her as  "my dearest friend."  It was such a nice experience to know that eventhough she didn't feel they were super close, that this lady from church felt she was a dear friend to her!  You would be surprised the people that you are aquinted with, that consider you a good friend!Just keep trying... don't be to forceful about it, but consistancy is the key.  Our church has a program that assigns each woman a partner and together they go and visit at least two other girls who attend the church.  There is no time limit or requirement you just go and visit for a little while.  That has helped me so much!  But there are many women who don't take advantage of it because it can be difficult, or it may feel forced at first.  It has really blessed my life to know that there are at least 2 women I can call if I just need someone to talk to.  And we've become close friends!  But if they weren't consistant about it and didn't really care, I would never have gotten to know them well enough to call them up and talk, or for help with something.  So try to attend something consistantly.  You will get to know people.  It just takes some time. :)Your weight does not "repulse" people.  It's shallow, cruel, and incredibly short sighted of someone to say that to you or think about you.  Seriously... it is NO ONE's place to judge.  You don't have to justify yourself.  Your weight is not who you are and certainly doesn't define you.  Stay strong girl. Remember: beauty comes in all shapes and sizes because it's what is inside not outside that makes a person beautiful!

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