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Not Happy and 9 Weeks

6 answers
I am 9 weeks pregnant, I know it isn't very far but I am miserable! My boyfriend irritates me daily, I sleep in the floor of the babys room cause I don't want to be around him sometimes and he drinks a lot. I want to move back to Texas where I have all my friends and I know I would be happier. I have no idea how to do this or how to tell him. I love his family and I know one side will probably support me in this decision because we feel he needs to grow up. But on the other hand I don't want him to miss out on watching the baby grow and being at the appointments. I am so torn and I have no idea what to do! Please help!

answers (6)

Hello..I read your little blog on here and just want to hug you and bring you to my house... First of all if you are irritated by your boyfriend now i don't think it will get better later. sorry but this should be a joyous time. you have one of God's gifts growing inside you and you should be happy. Can you tell him honestly how you're feeling? let him know lovingly that you not too happy and you need his love especially now? I'm more worried about you and the baby than hurting his feelings. i am a grandma who has been through all this already. think about yourself and the baby right now.Hopefully you leaving will bring him around. Sometimes that's what it takes. And pray, talk to God, it will make you stronger. And listen to anwers you feel. God bless you on your beautiful journey, Cathy
I wish that you were able to talk to him.. remember that if things are irritating you more now it could be partially hte emotional roller coaster of the pregnancy as well. The drinking though, if he drinks alot and makes you unhappy you have to think about if that is a situation that you want to bring your baby up in. I say that no matter how hard it may be that you need to put you and your unborn miracle first and not worry so much about his feelings. He needs to be understanding and there for you now more then ever.. and if not its not going to get easier from here on out.. and remember that stress on you affects the baby and you dont want anything to harm either of you so take it easy.. especially while still in the first trimester hun .. good luck =)
Ladies thank you so much for your wonderful thoughts and kind words. I have mentioned these to my friends one who is in TX and the other one here in VA and one says its just hormones but I really don't think it is. I spent all day yesterday (7/14) crying because I am not happy. And little things like him still smoking in the house becasue he is too lazy to go outside is so not changing because I think in the winter he will smoke inside because its too cold and the excuses will just keep piling up. And his manners are non-exisitant. How can I raise a polite child when the father has no manners to stand by? Impossible. So from the bottom of my heart ladies thank you again. Keep my child and I in your prayers *if you pray* and hope I have the strength to do this, because I know I need to.
I hope this isn't too late!  Be specific about the things that are bothering you.  Drinking and smoking around you and your baby is NOT good!  The emotional part may be mostly hormones because there are things my husband does that drive me crazy! But when I think about it, it's not something that causes potential harm to myself or my child. Sometimes it takes longer for men to understand what is going on inside you or believe that it is really happening.  When we went in for our first ultrasound there was a HUGE change in my husband! He saw the baby move and could look at it's face and hands and little feet.  He wasn't the most understanding at first but now he is so much more involved and compassionate.  It may just take seeing it for the first time. If he didn't smoke and drink as much before your pregnancy it may be a reaction to the stress of becoming a father. Did you two talk about having a baby and did he seem ready and up for it? It may even take longer for him to decide to make changes in his life.  For some men, holding the baby for the first time really makes a difference. Don't move so far away that he can't be a part of your child, especially  when he hasn't really had a chance to bond with it.  I don't think you should, in any circumstance have to be subjected to second hand smoke ESPECIALLY if you are pregnant.  Your baby is harmed by it inside of you but when it is born it will likely be even worse.  Be sure that your boyfriend knows that you aren't just being hormonal and moody but that you are concerned for the well being of your child.  If he is really invested in your relationship and this baby, he will become more understanding as he is more involved. If not maybe it's best to move out of this situation.It is so important to be aware of what you want in a companion.  That includes bad and unhealthy habits, especially those that directly affect your health.  You must have really cared for him at some point and having to move on when you are about to share something so special like having a child is really hard, but you have to think of what's best for your child and you.
The most important thing in your life is going to be that kid, not a person who disrespects you and your baby.  The worst thing two people can do is 'stay together for the kids' - it sets a bad example for children to see their parents suffering through a bad relationship.  It'll teach the kids the wrong things about what to look for in a partner. So, by all means, keep the dad involved in the kid's life as much as he will be - but don't stay with him if you aren't happy, if he's disrespectful, etc.  It's not worth it.  Your child needs to see you happy.
well just do whats better for you and the baby its not good to be stressed

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