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2 Year old jealous when Daddy holds baby?

4 answers
Before our son was even born I knew that our daughter would have issues with him and the baby. She had some issues if I would lean on him or hold his hand and it was that daddy was supposed to hold her. We would try to tell her it was okay and daddy has love for everyone. Well our son is a month old and she just does not want daddy to hold him. He is really busy working and only has a small amount of time in the house. He always gives her a lot of attention when he comes home and spends most of the time with her. Last night I just wanted him to hold the baby while I went to the bathroom and she had a melt down. She was not even near her dad she was off playing but the instant he was holding the baby she just melted down. I do not know how to help her adjust and let my husband hold his son. He tries to hold both at the same time but she does not like that. She just barely turned 2 a month before we had the baby.

answers (4)

This is a tough position. Have you tried to introduce her to baby and make her bond with the baby? Also maybe you can have her help you with baby so its a fun bonding experience. I know she is only two but maybe she can do something as simple as holding the new diaper when you're going to change the baby. It will empower her and make her feel helpful and needed. try to bond together as a family.
She is okay with me and the baby and is never jealous of me holding him. She loves on him and gives him kisses. She gets me diapers and throws the old ones away. If she could carry him around like her baby dolls she would. She just does not want daddy to hold the baby. It is a full on melt down sometimes. Today she did okay and sat on daddies lap while he held the baby.  So maybe it is getting better.
Have you tried setting aside special daddy time? Letting them go off and do something together, a walk, going for ice cream or just reading a book. After that explain that just like she needs time with daddy, the baby does too. She knows that time is limited with him, so she wants it all the herself, which is understandable. Just explain as simply as you can why she needs to share daddy. I hope this helps.
This worked for a friend - have her & daddy go out and buy a special toy/game, etc for her to use when daddy needs to help mommy with the baby (ie: lmax or leapster game she can play on her own worked for friend). Each time daddy needs to help, he lets her know and she can have her special toy time. My friends son began asking "when are you gonna hold the baby so I can have my special toy time?". Also, give her special "big sister" tasks...stacking extra diapers in a basket for you, having her fold & stack burp cloths. It'll all work out, just need to re-direct & be patient.

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