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6 year old behavior help, please!
My soon to be step son is 6 years old, he spends a week with us and a week with his mother. I have a 7 year old son who lives with us full time. I am so overwhelmed by the entire situation that I don't even know where to start. At 6 years old, he still has screaming melt downs which usually involve crumpling to the floor screaming and crying. It is an every day occurrence over things that should not be so upsetting, for example what underwear he puts on after a shower or what is being made for dinner. Some times he falls to the floor screaming over things like, saying his own name out loud, being asked in martial arts to show what his favorite ninja move is, or even being asked what his favorite color is by a camp counselor during day camp. We also have serious issues with him crying and over reacting when it comes to myself or my son. For example, he barely bumped heads with my son and he lost it. Screaming, crying, rubbing his eyes, the works. Two minutes later he fell off the couch trying to climb into his dads lap, and did not make a peep, jumped right back up and kept climbing. He then threw a gift card he had and I jokingly said, "oh look I found a gift card! yay!" and again, he fell to the floor screaming. He also seems delayed in his motor skills. Every meal time is like pulling teeth unless it's fast food (which is very rare in our house). He cannot seem to eat without making a huge mess on his face, clothes & table. He also knocks over his drinks quite often. Riding a scooter is challenging for him, and when he falls he doesn't put his hands out in front of himself, even at a walking pace he landed straight onto his head without putting his hands out. Another problem I seem to notice is he acts stupid. He would rather cry and tell me, "I don't know" or "I forgot" VS just telling me the answer or the truth. We have had several incidents of very large lies from him, including telling people his father punched his mother (totally untrue) or coming home and telling us a child punched him in the eye (also later found out to be untrue). But after reading a book and asking him what it was about, he sat there and pitched a fit, crying and screaming that he "didn't know" and when I handed him the book and asked him to then read it again, suddenly he knew all about it. During the school year he consistently came home with blank work, was unable to tell us what he learned that day etc etc. He has periods where he just stares off into nothing, or will stare at you when you ask a question and not answer. He has been seeing a therapist about once a month, and it seems all we have gotten out of that is being told to ignore the tantrums. It's not working though. I am at a total loss. Am I making a mountain out of a mole hill here? It's nothing that I've ever dealt with raising my son so I feel so lost. Any advice would be so appreciated.
Has he been checked for Autism? This sounds like autism to me, especially the tantrums. If he does not have at least high-functioning autism, then maybe he's just spoiled or is seriously upset about his father and mother being apart and having to adjust to each household week-to-week, not to mention the fact that you are in the picture now (please don't take offensive, just offering my honest opinion.) I would definitely suggest seeing a different therapist and asking his pediatrician about getting tested for autism.