My son didn't sleep with us as an infant (and rarely does as a toddler), but the advice I heard for getting him to go to sleep on his own was to put him down just as he's falling asleep, not after he's already done so. Look for the fluttering eyelashes - or whatever signs your son gives as he's dropping into sleep, be it jerks or sighs or increased sucking on his pacifier. That's when you should be laying him down. I'll warn you, it SUCKS the first few nights, but it does eventually work. The other thing that worked for us was to go by the 5-10-15 rule. I'd put my son down, say goodnight, leave the room. He'd cry. I'd let him cry for 5 minutes, then go back in to comfort him. (Some folks will say NOT to pick him up, but I always did.) Stay for as long as you need to in order to calm him back down, and then lay him down again, saying goodnight, leave the room. Stay out for 10 minutes. Lather, rinse, repeat, this time for 15 minutes. Keep adding five minutes to the time until he's asleep. (Or, what I did - after 90 minutes of this routine, give him a bottle which knocked him out entirely. I had to do this maybe half the time.) This took about two weeks to work. The idea behind it is that you're trying to give him a chance to fall back asleep on his own. Sometimes, when kids cry, they're not really awake. They'll make a noise, and then go right back to sleep. But if we're half asleep ourselves, we don't recognize the difference between that and a 'OMGINEEDYOUNOW" cry, so we respond when we don't really need to do it. Which is why you DO respond, eventually, but after enough time that you know this isn't just routine "i'm half awake" cry. The most important thing is to NOT backslide. Once you've decided that he's not sleeping in your bed with you, don't let him sleep there. For any reason. Every time you do, you're telling him that if he cries long enough/hard enough/consistently enough, he's going to get what he wants. That's not the lesson you're trying to teach, and you'll have to start from scratch every time you do it. Good luck! It's hard and it sucks and you'll feel like the worst mom ever, but you're not and you can do it and it's really worth it.