You are here

Get Answers

Sometimes it's nice to get advice from experts with a lot of letter degrees behind their names, but other times, you just need to hear what another parent (with a M.O.M. behind her name) has done that has worked. You've got questions? These moms have answers.

Am I a bad mother?

8 answers
I started out breastfeeding but after a month decided it wasn't for me. There were no problems latching on or problems producing milk, I just don't like the feeling. Does that make me a bad mom? Are there anymore moms out there like this, or am I the only one?

answers (8)

Breastfeeding is the best and healthiest thing for your baby. It's also a great bonding experience for you and the baby. If you don't feel that you can breastfeed, you should pump. It is worth it for your little one. Go online and see what the benefits are from breastfeeding. It might help. 
Carrie, I know you feel. Breast is best, but I couldn't keep it up either. I breastfed for a week, and then pumped for a week. I just couldn't produce enough for her so I ended up switching to formula. My girl is 12 weeks and she has done fine on formula. I give her Enfamil Newborn. I do feel guilty and I wish that I could have breast fed longer. In the end you have to do what works best for you. I wish I would have tried a little harder, but she would scream for hours because we couldn't get the latch right and she was SO HUNGRY. I was on the phone with a lactation consultant all the time! So, you are not a bad mother. My grandmother had four children and could only manage to breast feed two of them for longer than 6 weeks. Good luck. I hope it works out for you.
Feeding your baby formula does not make you a bad mother. I am a staunch proponent of breastfeeding for as long as you can, but this is not an issue that makes you bad at parenting. That will come later! LOL. I would say, though, that one month of breastfeeding is not really long enough to experience the amazing benefits that b'feeding offers to you as a mother. It hurts and/or is uncomfortable for the first several months (with both my kids, my nipples hurt for about 4 months each). However, after that, you both get into a rhythm, and the baby is then old enough to have a real eye to eye connected interaction with you.Given that you said your baby did not have latch issues and that you produced enough milk, you might want to try going back to it, if it isn't too late. There are so many ways to make the process more enjoyable and more comfortable, too. It seems a shame to miss out on it completely, since the two hardest things - latching and production - were going well for you and baby.Good luck! No matter what you decide, please do not think you are a bad mom. You must love your baby tons if you are even worried about it.
I had similar issue and I used to feel that way too. My son did great from the very beginning but he was soooo strong I was bleeding before I left the hospital after his birth. I tried to handle it for as long as I could but I gave up and started pumping. Ultimately I just fed him formula at 3.5 weeks. My son is almost 4 months now and he is growing at an amazing rate and is super healthy. Dont worry and just make sure your child gets enough and remains healthy. As your child gets older, just make sure that he/she moves around and is active to ensure the best health.
you are not a bad mother.  i did not breastfeed any of my kids.  and its not because there was something wrong with me or them.  just the thought about breastfeeding make me uncomfortable so i didnt do it.  they were are formual feed from birth.  my kids are now 5, 2, and 1.  they are all healty and i have not noticed any difference between the other 5 and 6 year olds in my sons kindergarden class that i know were breastfeed.  and with my 2 girls only being 13 months i would of been breastfeeding for more than 2 years in a row!  bottles and formula worked for me.  and they will work for you.  as long as you are comfortable you child will be also.  i also had no problems with bonding.  as long as you are still holding the baby you can still have the special moments when they gaze into your eyes.  my 1 year old, actually shes 18 months, bonded so well that she still thinks the cord is attached.  just do what is right for you and enjoy the time of the quiet peacefull feeding because trust me it wont last that long
No way are you a bad mother.  Mom of five talking here.  Oldest is 21yrs now.  As long as you are feeding your baby, loving your baby, holding your baby, and meeting your baby's needs in a loving way......yuu are so not a bad mother.  Please do not let anyone tell you otherwise.  Best to you!
I am currently breastfeeding and my baby is almost nine months.  I hated it the first month I would actually cry during almost every feeding because it hurt so badly.  But I was unable to breastfeed my other two boys and because of the cost of formula I was determined to do it.  I can honestly say I love it now.  In no way does bottle feeding make you a bad mother but if you are interested in breastfeeding give it a little more time.
my husband desperatley wanted me to breastfeed. i knew when i was prego, that it just wasn't something i felt strongly about. i tried to pump for the first 2 days after my daughter was born, but just couldnt get past the excruciating pain. i have a pretty high pain tolerance, but due to the tenderness, and my boobs swelling up 2 cup sizes, i just couln't do it. it doesn't make you a bad mother. i gave up, and just fed her formula. she's 20 months now, and just fine.

*DISCLAIMER's Answers are provided by members of our community. While your fellow moms and our editors have plenty of great advice to offer based on their experience, it is not a substitute for professional medical help. Always consult a medical professional when seeking medical advice. All submitted answers are subject to the rules set forth in our Privacy Policy and Terms of Use