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Am I wrong to ask for respect?

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I have a 2 year old daughter. She was born as a result of HELLP syndrome prematurely. Her birth was traumatic for the both of us to say the least. Her father and I were not together during most of the pregnancy however I still allowed him to be a part and even be there for the birth. 2 days after her birth we fought over her last name with him yelling and screaming at me in the hospital while I daughter slept I finally had security remove him and then despite my attempts it was a month before he contacted me to make any attempt to see her. Then when my daughter was 4 months he began dating a new woman and immediately wanted to introduce her to my daughter which I protested against and being as there was no custody I had this control. He served me with custody paperwork and I subsequently filed as well. At the beginning of the case his girlfriend, who has a son about 4-6 age range, sent me a message stating "I have always wanted a daughter and will do anything to get one even if it means I have to take someone else's". Her father tried for full custody stating the child was underweight and malnourished due to her petite size(she was only 4lb 9oz at birth) they lost the case and her father and I have joint legal custody and I have full physical custody. He has overnight visitations every other weekend and 3 1/2 hour visits two nights a week. I have had people stop me when I'm out with my daughter and ask is that 'her father's name' daughter I always reply with yes I have had 3 people tell me "but you're not her mom" when I tell them I am I have had them say "oh you must be the one that stole her from them." One of them told me that they had told them this story of the girlfriend giving birth with pre-e and being her being unconscious and I was a crazy ex that stalked his Facebook page and when I saw she had given birth I admitted myself under pretense of pregnancy had a miscarriage and went to visit them and stole the baby from the bassinet claiming it as my own and since I have friends working in the hospital I was able to pull this off. The other week the two of them got married (congrats no hard feelings) however the other afternoon when he picked her up for the weekend she pointed to the step mom and yelled mommy and I corrected her. I spoke with her father after she was in the car and said that I'd prefer if she didn't call her mommy as its very confusing to her and he replied he had no control over what she calls her and I pointedly said yes you do. He told me he feels that she does this because of the son that calls her mom and he will not stop him from calling his mom mom. I asked him and her to have some respect for me and have our daughter call her either by her name or something else and that it can't be because of the child because she is daily around kids at daycare who call her babysitters mommy and daddy but she knows them by names because she's been taught that and also she's around my nieces who call their mother mommy but she knows her as aunt. I don't allow my daughter to call other men daddy because I have respect for him am I wrong to ask that him and his wife have the same respect for me? I feel like this woman is trying to not only steal my daughter but steal my identity.

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