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Birthday disaster...!!!!

2 answers
So tomorrows my birthday so we chose to celebrate it today by going to a restarant. We toke our 2 1/2 year old daughter. When they brought a cake to the table with a candel and sang happy birthday she tru a fit !! I blew on the candel and she started screaming...!! I didnt know what to do, because i didnt know why she was soo upset in the first place...!! We ask someone if she could take us a picture her, my husband, and me.. And when we said say cheese she started screaing and pulled my hair and yanked off my earing....!!! I was soooo embarresed...!!! When we got home i told her i didnt like what she did and asked her why she did it ... and she said because i had blown on the birthday candel and that it was for her and that only she could have a birthday not me..!!! Sounds verry verry bratty ha..? Well i explained how we all had a birthday but for some reasson i feel she didnt get the point ... What do you ladys do or, would do if your child did this...?? How can i get her to understand not to cry in places and not to throw things at people...!!! Is the only soluscion not taking her out to places...?? please help me with some advise...

answers (2)

First, happy birthday!  And I'm sorry that happened on your birthday, of all days!  (Just remember: in ten years, you'll be able to tell this story and embarrass the heck of your daughter.  Delayed present, for sure.)  One of the best things my mom did for me and my brother was when I was around 4 or 5 years old, and my brother 3 or 4.  She had taken us to McDonald's for lunch.  We had just bought our hamburgers and fries and toys and had sat down to eat them - and my brother and I were behaving like horrible little snotty-nosed brats.  (I remember we were arguing, but I can't remember what about.)  Anyway, I'm sure my mother warned us, and I'm sure we didn't listen, because no sooner had we unwrapped food, but she decided we were behaving too badly to remain at the restaurant, so she picked us both up, and took us out to the car and home - LEAVING THE MCDONALD'S FOOD AND TOYS BEHIND. Let me repeat that: WE DID NOT GET TO EAT.  WE DID NOT GET TO PLAY.  In fact, I'm not all that sure she even gave us lunch when we got home. That stuck with us both, for a very, very, very long time.  And we NEVER misbehaved in public again. (Okay, probably a stretch.  But sure as hell we didn't do it when we were about to get a treat like McDonalds!) Now, granted, it would have absolutely sucked to up and leave the restaurant in the middle of your birthday celebration.  I don't blame you one whit for not doing it (I wouldn't have wanted to, either).  But I do think it's worth it to take five minutes to pull her out, wait for her to calm down outside of the restaurant, and then talk to her and explain in language that she can understand that it's MOMMY'S birthday, not hers, and that she'll get a piece of cake too, but Mommy gets to blow out the candle, and if she's very good, Mommy will let her help. At 2-1/2, she doesn't have a lot of experience with birthdays (not ones she can remember, anyway).  So yeah, it's entirely possible that to her, birthdays ARE all about her, and no one else gets them.  It's not too early to teach her (a) everyone has birthdays and (b) there are consequences to misbehaving in public.  And yeah, if you bite the $20 for McDonalds lunch, it's going to be SO worth it - and this is the kid, now grown up, saying it.  Every so often, I call my mother and thank her for taking us out of that restaurant.  In fact, I think I'm going to do it again now.
When I was getting ready for my son's first birthday my 2 1/2 year old daughter didn't understand what was going on. She thought that the presents we were buying were for her and that all the talk about cake and parties was for her. I could see the potential for problems at his party so I sat her down to explain how things worked. I asked her if she remembered her birthday party a few months earlier. She said yes. I asked her if she'd had fun with her friends and the presents and the cake. She said yes. Then I explained that everyone gets a birthday, that it's something special that happens once a year. As she was starting to understand that I told her that I had a birthday coming up in a few months, that Daddy's birthday was just after hers. She was very interested in the whole concept so I told her that her brother was having his very first birthday. She was excited so I asked her if she wanted him to have cake, open presents, and have a party. She answered yes to everything because she remembered the fun she'd had and she wanted to share that with other people. So even though she still wanted his presents, she understood that they weren't hers. (And when he wasn't interested in opening the presents we let her open them.)I would sit down with your daughter at a time when she is calm and I would explain things to her again. She's old enough to understand the difference between good and bad behavior, there's no reason that she can't be a good girl so that you all can go out and have fun together.

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