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CALLING ALL MOMS!!! IM 16 gonna be 17 jan-5-12!!
My mom is really starting to get on my nerves. We wint to chruch sunday and i was very uncomfortable in the church. The preacher was preaching against lesbianism, gayism, and bisexualism. I asked my mom to leave early but she wouldnt let me. So i walked out of the church and strted walkin home. A mile away from home my mom picked me up and started yelling at me about how i embarressed her infront of the whole church by walking out during the preaching. when we got home she started saying i was a disgrace to the family like my 2aunts, 2uncles, and 5 cousins are. She told me to hurry up and turn 18 and move the hell out of the house. I was woundering if it was ok to move out at 17?
my husband was kicked out at 16, as was i. luckily, my grandmother took me in. that was not the case with him. he was forced to work 2 full time jobs just to support himself. he had no car, so he used a bicycle and traveled 9 miles to work, rain or shine. you want a baby, and now you want to move out. do you even have a job? that's great that you finished high school, but why are you trying to be an adult? my husband and i are still upset over the fact that we were forced to grow up at a very young age, and never got to really experience childhood. my husband has a saying, "the best lessons are bought lessons. when you make a mistake, and have to pay for it yourself, without help." so go ahead, get knocked up, and move out. it's not like your going to listen to any of us anyway.
You could get a lawyer and try to emancipate yourself. Basically that means that legally your parents have no rights to make decisions for you anymore and you are responsible for yourself. If you think you can make it on your own then go ahead and leave. It's a shame your mom can't accept who you are.
You disgraced her by purposely getting pregnant. Then you act like a child by leaving the service. She has every right to be pissed off. You are lucky parents can no longer beat their children. If my children got knocked up or knocked someone up under age, they wouldn't be allowed out of the house. Be lucky you still have a mother that cares about you.
as soon as my daughter starts her period, we are looking into birth control. she will have no chance at getting pregant during her teen years.
AAWM- i said nothing about being prego..im not preg i disgrace her by breinging in more money then she does for the house payments.kimmieapples-dont need that because they dont have any saying over me, my grandma has gardianship of me. but ya its a whole twisted thing with my family.pinkpaisely8709- i know im very hard to understand, but try to please. I changed my mind about the baby, im waiting a few years. And i want to move out because i know i can make it on my own my income per month is one thousand two hundred
Well yuri_lesbo,I hope I can help shed some light for you a little better than some of these other people who have seem to scold more than give constructive critism.....Y'all shouldn't be so quick to judge.Ok, I once found myself in a similar situation as you. Unable to reconsile differences with a parent. I in turn moved out to have a better relationship in the future with those parents, because indeed, family is very important. Now, bare in mind that every family is different and every situation is different. As your mother saw you walk out of the service, it may have been seen as disrespectful, but as a young woman you are entitled to your beliefs. However, the manner you left in whether it was abruptly or subtly, waiting outside for your mother might have been best. I always find that before engaging into a potentially high tension conversation with someone, it is best to be alone with your thoughts and regroup. If your mother wishes to scold, lecture, yell or say hurtful things you may tell her respectfully that you would like to talk to her in a little while about this matter, but at he moment you are both very upset and it wouldn't be wise to have this conversation. It is a very mature way to handle a situation. Undoubtedly your mother was very upset. It may have been because of her own insecurities or that the church is a very tightly Knit church in which case everyone knows everyone and their bussiness. Take it in stride. I have a very difficult mother that to this day I have to respectfully decline some conversationsshe wishes to chose to have with me because i know it will just result in more hurt feelings from either party. Take it in stride and always remember that your age does not define respect you deserve as a human being. Apologize to your mother and let her know how you feel. Let her know that you love her and that your views on life and your specific beliefs are not an attack on her, but that you are your own person and are entitled to your own opinion and the way you choose to live your life you hope that she will support you and love you unconditionally as you do her.To touch on another topic. $1200 a month is not that much money to support yourself. I made more than that just out of high school and I barely got by on rent, fuel and buss passes, food and utilities. That was in 2006 and as we all have seen, this economy has gotten worse. Now, if you are under your grandmother's care then you should legally be living with her and not your mother. if you all live together, then suggest to your grandmother that the 2 of you get your own place. Your mother is a grown woman and I am sure that she can fend for herself. Sweetie, leaving a home, just because your opinion is not recognized is not a good enough reason. Now, if there is constant emotional abuse, neglect, and maltreatment that has effected you and your school work (you are still in high school...?) then you need to speak with a counselor at school or an abuse agency that they will have in your town. It is free and those resources are available to you because things like this have happened before. Try to work things out with your family. It may seem very hard at times, but remember we don't choose our parents and our parents don't choose our personalities. Learning to accept each other is half the battle. Your mother may be dealing with a lot. try to talk to her about it. It must be hard to have had to relinquish her rights as a parent to your grandmother... Communicate to one another. Try the very best you can and always remember to look out for number 1 that's you. Living with her may be tough, but without financial stability it is very hard and difficult. it is doable, but at this point it is a last resort. Most landlords, will not rent to anyone under 18 or 19 years of age. So, my best advice is first work on your relationships with family and then if that fails then research your options ie. other family members and after that then look into moving out on your own.Finally, last but not least Babies!!! lol oh boy, oh boy. Well, i didn't see you mention anything in your post, but reading your later posts i see the mention of wanting children now... Is that because you want/need a sense of belonging? that you finally want a fresh start and have your own family? If it is, well honey I have been in that boat before and let me tell you, it makes sense, but when you realize that you are not married, aren't financially sound and you can barely take care of yourself it brings a whole new meaning to 18 years. We all want the best for our future children. We want to give them everything that we had and more. At 16-17 years old and heck even some 25-30 + can't even do it, but those older adults have a betterunderstanding what being out in the world is like. I am recently married and my husband and I found out we were pregnant in March 2011. I am 5 months along and let me tell you what, it has been a journey thus far. Having a partner and being pregnant and going through all the changes is hard, I can only imagine what it would be like without him. I have a lot of respect for single fathers and single mothers. I haven't even gotten to the hard part yet. What i am trying to say is, it would be better to wait until you have a stronger support system then what is going on with your family now and get established in your own home and in a solid relationship. It would be selfish to have a child now, so take care of yourself. Use birth control if your sexually active and protect your body so that one day you can have a healthy womb for your child. What a blessing children are. they bring us back earth and make us realize the importnant things in the world. Believe me I couldn't wait to have children. Now that I am pregnant and my husband and I both work and both have excellent health benefits and very stable jobs, I still worry about things. Propper day care and having all the right products and health care....whew it can be a lot. Enjoy these days that you have being a teenager, then enjoy your twenties and enjoy your 21st birthday and college parties. Then when you have enjoyed all those things when you do settle down and you and your partner or just you decide to try for that little bundle of joy, you will fully be able to focus on your child. Many young parents that I have seen have had trouble organizing priorities. When a child is in our own world that we created it is #1, end of story.I hope this was helpful and not seen as a lecture. I am a young mother to be of 23 years. I was once in a sticky spot. I once worked 3 jobs and put myself through college and also played softball full time in college. Anythng is possible, but that doesn't mean that it will not be hard and difficult. I wish more of these ^ people could have been more helpful, but sometimes our previous experiences and how we were raised clouds our judgement when giving advice. Take care and please let me know if this has helped or if you need any other advice. I emphathize with your situation and would be happy to help any way I can.
$1200 is not enough money to live on and support yourself. look for an apartment. keep in mind that whatever the rent is, you won't qualify unless you make atleast 3 times that much for the month. for example, if you find one for $600 a month, you need to make atleast $1800 for a landlord to even consider giving you a chance. not to mention, i don't think a landlord would give a 16 year old girl an appt, emancipated or not. power bill will run $100+, water is around $30. do you have a car? figure in gas, maintenance, and your monthly note if you have one. food gets expensive very quickly. look to spend around $200 a month on groceries, depending on how much you eat and cook at home. don't think you can just eat out at a fast food joint every day. that money adds up quick! $1200 a month is a lot of money for someone your age who still lives at home, but it's not going to be enough to support yourself. if your grandmother has custody of you, why not go stay with her? you may think that i don't understand your situation, but trust me, sweetie, i do. i have been in your shoes. i just wasn't a lesbian. i moved out at 18, thinking my $1800 a month would easily cover all of my expenses. i was sadly mistaken. i didn't even have a car. i walked 2 miles to get back and forth to work. rain or shine. rent was late every single month, and there was one time, i had to go get financial help from a local church that i didn't even attend! they were able to pay my power bill that was 2 months late. i have lived without power in the middle of winter. that went on for 3 months or so. i used a gas camping grill to make food, and had to boil 12 pots of water just to have enough bath water to sit in. i went to bed wearing a winter coat and mittens just to stay warm. i have also lived without water for 2 months, after issues with roomates. (same reason for no power-we were left with a $750 power bill, and a $225 water bill.) that's not a way that you want to live, sweetie. trust me! when the time comes, find yourself a reliable roomate, and start putting money away in the bank, now, so if you do get burned, you don't have to suffer without. before i stayed home to raise my daughter, i have always worked 2 full time jobs just to get by, and it was never enough.
BRN87-first thanks for not being so quick to judge..... we all live together but thing is house belongs to gram n gram tells them to move out but they wont=/ in my family everything is wacked out. i know what i make aint enough for an apartment but i have a friend who has a guest house in the back of her house and her mom will only charge me $50.00 a month. (i finished high school).....u said enjoy being a teenager...on that note i cant i dont know how (i know how can a teen not know how to be a teen) truth is ive been grown up since 9. I dont go shoping unless its need able, i dont party unless its a b-day party for a family member, i dont hang with my friends unless its to go to a concert to mosh of some steam (even then we never stay late cuz we work) my friends are 2-17, 3-18, 2-19, 4-21......we only go out 2 times every 3 monthsi cant be a normal teenager because im not normal... pinkpaisley8709-i dont know what to say i sai d it all to BRN87
i too have been growing up since 9, sweetie. that's when my little brother was born, and i got the lovely task of raising him for the first two years. i even had to get up during the night to feed him at times. so, i never got a chance to know what a "normal childhood/teenage life" should be. as i said in a different post, during my teen years, (it started at 15) my mother's idea of punishment was to throw me in a looney bin. she was a nurse, so she knew all the right things to say to have me admitted for weeks at a time. she got tired of dealing with me, so i was just sent away. after the 4th time, i honestly didn't mind it that much. it became a crappy vacation in a way. i didn't have to be around her, but by no means was it fun. she had me committed a total of 7 times. after she got tired of that, she placed me in a group home for 11 months. finally, my grandmother took custody, and rescued me from the hell. so please don't think that i don't understand your situation.