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Couples counseling?

5 answers
Ok, I admit I knew a lot of these things about my boyfriend and have stayed with him for 5 years anyways. He is a good person. I love him otherwise I would not have had a baby with him, but he is driving me crazy. He has always been a little on the lazy side. I have always done everything. When I ask him to do something he can't ever do it right then. Sometimes I wait days for him to simply take out the trash because he forgets. Also, he is either constantly going somewhere or inviting people over. I do not want people over all the time that I have to feed, etc. When he is home, he is "bored". When he does do something right, he expects me to be impressed or thankful. Well, I won't be until I don't have to tell him a million times to do the simplest tasks. I try to tell him that I think he is selfish and lazy and that I deserve better. He thinks by being sweet and funny it fixes everything. And then he has the audacity to get mad at me when I make decisions. I'm the main bread-winner, the primary caretaker of our child, and everything is in my name so why wouldn't I make decisions. He comes from a working-class background, and I was raised in the burbs. I never knew this would be a problem until now. I expect a little more than what he wants to give. I think we need counseling. Anyone ever had to do this?

answers (5)

If it makes you feel better, I can only get my man to change the litter box about 50% of the time. And he was there when the doc said I wasn't allowed to do it anymore. Men are jerks plain and simple. They are whatever their mom molded them into and it is tough changing them. I really don't think counselling will help unless you want to give him another reason to whine (why do I have to talk to strangers about our business? I have to pay how much for this? you get the idea).
We have been through the mud together and we have always held on, but I just can't believe after all this time he still doesn't want to earn his right to be head of this household. His punk rock attitude was cute when we were 22, but it is not so cute now. He spent $50 on a shitty tatoo - I mean, crooked lines and terrible spotty color - just to help his loser friend out. Who is helping us out when we are broke? No one. I have no sympathy anymore for our old friends who are pushing 30 and still can't hold down a job because it gets in the way of skateboarding, beer-drinking, etc. I told my boyfriend last night under no circumstance was he to feed any of his friends when they come over from now on. I can't afford to feed all these dead beats. He slammed the door in my face when he heard this! I may be hormonal, but he is acting like a baby. Plus, it sucks I never get to enjoy anything because I am constantly nagging him to do the simplest things. This is not the person I wanted to be when I grew up.
Ever mention in front of his friends how you LOVE feeding them and how you'd LOVE it if they could surprise you once and bring a pizza over? But men are stupid so they may not take the hint...
If you knew he was lazy, why did you start a family with him? Woman are always trying to change a person! He won't change! Your going to have to change how you react to him, or maybe you can not tolerate it anymore. You should discuss with him respectable visiting rules, but if you have always allowed him to do it, why the change now?
My boyfriend is EXACTLY the same way. Down to every detail. I'm the breadwinner and spend the time that I am home from work doing everything with our daughter myself. He won't do anything I ask him to do when I actually ask, and "forgets" all the time. We are actually looking into counseling ourselves.

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