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Dealing with a mean and disrespectful OB/GYN

5 answers
My OB, who I didn't even choose because she was the only one in my town with an opening, has been extremely rude and disrespectful to me at every appointment. On my first visit she kept asking me if I was going to keep it and every time I said yes she looks at me and makes this "are you kidding me" face. She basically man handled me during my exam bad enough to make me bleed for a day after my pap. On my second visit she asked why I was being so careless and irresponsible to allow myself (and I quote) to get "Knocked up so young". It's not like I planned this but what if I did? And it's not like I'm bringing an unwanted child into this world. It was just unexpected. To top things off she constantly asks how my husband (24) and I(21) being so young and irresponsible are going to afford this. My husband and I are both in the military. We have a solid paycheck, a house given to us if we choose and if not we get housing allowance, daycare provided at low cost, full medical benefits for us and the child. All this she knows and she is still rude towards us. I have no choice but to stay with her since there is no other options at this time but I wanted this to be a happy joyful time and she is ruining it for my husband and I. I've talked to her about it but she just shrugs and walks out of the room before I can finish. It is coming to the point where I want to put off my appointments just so I don't have to see her. What do I do to deal with this woman?

answers (5)

Wow. You really need to find a different doctor. You could probably get her in some trouble with the people who write her paychecks also, if you are feeling particularily vindictive. Is it to far to drive to another town?This is a special time in your life, and it doesn't matter what her opinions are of it. She most certainly should NOT be telling you that you shouldn't keep the baby.My advice: Find a new doctor, ASAP even if you have to drive a little ways to appointments. Do you really want this woman around your child? Your OB/GYN is an important figure in your child's welbeing right now.
If you tolerate this, even just a little bit, it'll continue. Just be very frank with her. Remind her that it is not her job to tell you how old you should be to have a baby, or counsel you on your finances, or question your judgement in anyway. Tell her she needs to do her job and then get out and worry about her own life. Jeez, I'm only 19, but me and my 8 month old daughter are fine. I'm a great mom and I know you will be too no matter what some docter tells you.
wow. you need to talk to her boss and report this bitch. there is no reason for a doc to be talking to you like this. her job is to help you through the pregnancy by offering advice, and support. it's not her job to judge your situation out loud.
If you go to Tricare or call them you can change your ob and get a recomendation for a different dr, They will let you change dr.s a couple of times, but you might have to drive further.
As being a former military wife and having dealt with the incompetent pricks that work in the OB/GYN department I feel for ya and know what you are going through. Though you think you don't have any options you have two major options at your disposal and you being enlisted yourself have a lot of pull. If you're going through the miltary hospital you can go the head of the hospital and say something, you will get a new doctor and she will be dealt with appropriately (had to do it myself). The other option you have is to take your complaint to tricare and let them know the situation and that you want a new doctor they HAVE to find you a new one or if one is not available they have to let you go out of the hospital into the civilian world (again, had to do this myself) so there are options you just have to put your foot down and say you won't tolerate this. Keep your head up, things will get better...and CONGRATS to you and your hubby, this is an amzing and special time for you both, enjoy it despite her! :)

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