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Disciplining my 1 1/2 year old
My son, who is 20 months old, is out of control. I know boys are like this because I also have a 4 year old. When I think back I don't remember my 4 yr old acting this crazy! All he does is scream and throw things. He does have his good times but when he does something wrong time-out just doesn't work. I have watched plenty of super nanny episodes to know the rules of time-out. I was wondering if anyone else has any suggestions for me. He also has tubes in his ears, and I often wonder if that has something to do with how loud he talks and screams? I am unable to take him out to stores and forget going to dinner! That is out of the question.
I had a similar problem with my youngest daughter, I use to say that she was possessed. She would get so angry sometimes I was afraid she would hurt herself or my other daughter by throwing herself on the ground and throwing stuff. After taking her to a therapist to be evaluated I was able to stop her throwing things by coming up with my "angry face" and taking whatever toy it was she had thrown. I gave her the angry face and told her we don't throw things and that "ducky" (or whatever it was) was gone gone. Instead of throwing stuff when your mad tell me "I am mad". Keep the thrown stuff outta sight for awhile and give it back a few weeks later when they have forgotten that particular thing and it's like something completely new to them. My daughter also has a hearing problem and use to scream all the time. When i would answer something she had screamed at me I would talk in a normal voice and progressively talk lower and lower so that she would have to come towards me to hear me, it took a few weeks but she finally stopped yelling but she still talks very loud. The dr that diagnosed her hearing problem said she talked loud so that she could properly hear herself talking.
in reference to the tubes and him talking loud/screaming, talk to his ped about that. otherwise, if time out's are not working, then you can always try a good swat on the butt!
My son CAN be this way. You need to intervier less. If he hit someone take him away by the hand and say "no no" and (I take my son in his room, I walk in and say "you stop that" I actually close the door and let him yell. When he stops or it's been about 10min AND i can walk in and he stops I let him out. I do this for everything. I don't say "NO" often I say "no no" calmly.I don't yell, I don't yank him around I stay very calm. I tell him "No no" and if he won't i take him by the hand and move him from what ever he's doing very quietly. Now if he won't move or doesn't allow me to walk him away, I pick him up under his arms and move him. But I do it calmly. If he starts throwing a fit I take him by the hand or under his arms and put him in his room. As I said before. But I NEVER get mad, I never yell. If I'm in a place i can't put him in his room, I move him somewhere he can throw him self around and I lay him there and let him do it. lol If he runs I pick him up under his arms and let him throw if fit just 2 or 3 in off the floor..He will get over it quickly if your not getting any more involved.The reason he's doing what he's doing is becuase he's putting on a show for you. He's figured out how important it is to you by how involved you get. My son is also 20 mo. I also have an 8yr old and do childcare out of my own home, My sister also does childcare in this age bracket and has 3 boys of her own. So plenty of experance here..
you are going to think I am crazy for so many people use this however my son now 22 when he was 1 1/2 he was throwing fits that blew my mind, I took him to doctors shrinks i video him during one of his outburst just to show the doct. It was not until kindergarten and three neurologist later that they found he had ADHD we controlled this at first with food /diet then we had to go to medication however at age 16 he went off the meds learned control and self discipline he has trouble at time studying and not getting bored, yet if it was not for the medication there is no doubt in my mind my son would have harmed himself or someone els when he was younger , during one of his outburst . Also I May add his IQ is very high also very common in ADHD children
Well, I agree with the advice here but I'd also like to add that for some children yelling or talking loud is a sensory issue not a behavioral issue. For children with a variety of disorders or special needs, not just hearing impaired children, yelling like head banging and thumb sucking is a way of soothing themselves when a situation is not to their liking or something go wrong. This unexpected behavior needs special treatment for a licensed therapist. For one boy I nannied, who had Aspergers Syndrome, the yelling and weird loud noises required me to allow him special noise time where he could yell or talk as loud as he wanted for 3-5 min. I actually had to hold up a green "go sign" and a red "stop sign" to let him know when to start and stop making the sounds he seemed to crave. Oh yeah, and ear plugs kept me from losing my mind. LOL
I think Yelling and throwing toys is part of normal devolpment, when children don't know how to properly announce thier feelings they resort to throwing and yelling sometimes hitting. While this behavior is extremely undersiable, labeling thier emotions for them and explaining why for example " I know you are mad that you can't play with that but we can not throw toys" will help get over this stage quicker. I worked in a classroom with one year olds for about 2 and half years before having my two daughters so I saw alot of this behavior. The most important thing is not just disciplining but labeling thier feeling and emotions on top of it. Good Luck.