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Does my child need a bra?
Today I saw all her friends come over for their annual month sleepover.I noticed each of her 7 friends were wearing a bra. And she is the oldest out of all them. But Cassie is oh 11 my children were teenagers one was 14 and half for her first bra I don't know what to do?
Has your daughter asked you for a bra? If she has not asked and physically does not need it, I'd say to let her grow up more slowly. If she feels like she needs one for social reasons, I think it's ok to acknowledge that and tell her you understand that she wants to feel grown up like her friends. However, I am totally against all these tiny padded and push-up bras that are being marketed to pre-teens and young teens--totally inappropriate sexualization of young girls! When the time comes, shop with your daughter for a simple bra--not one that looks like it comes from Victoria's Secret! She does not need that message at age 11!Lori DayEducational Psychologist and Consultantwww.loridayconsulting.com
If you see these ones they are good:http://www.shopjustice.com/girls-clothing/pjs-undies/bras
I agree with the first answer. If she is not interested and her body doesn't need one..then let her go without. I think the market to this age group is pushing them to mature emotionally faster than is neccessary. The pressure is to look as grown up as possible and bras and sexy panties are included. It's unfortunate that we aren't allowing our kids to be kids.
Slow down a second. Did you just say that you noticed your daughters friends were wearing bras? You should consider yourself lucky that she didn't approach you with this question. If she didn't bring it up, she isn't concerned with the subject, and chances are she knows full well what her friends are wearing. If you feel that she might be pressured in the future into wanting one, remind yourself that she should only get it if she needs it. If you feel that her slow development may need some attention, talk to her doctor. She should develop sometime soon, but keep in mind that sometimes breasts stay small into adulthood. But if you ever come to that bridge, cross it by encouraging your daughter to love herself the way she is.
I totally agree with the psychologist. But I have to say that at an earlier time in our society this question would have been entirely and deeply private between the child and the parents or mother. And the answer whether to get a bra would have depended entirely on individual need. Other kids would have thought it rude and crude to even mention it. What has happened to the common sense of the parents of the kids who are younger than that of the one with the question? We seem to have lost all common sense. Since when are we dependent on a school psychologist to confirm our wavering common sense in order to answer this question? The oversexualization of our kids is directly the fault of the parents in our culture who let it happen, individually and collectively, by failing to be parents. It is not a political thing; we need only check our distant memory as a culture. And what we have allowed our schools to become has a big part to play in it too.
Most young girls are uncomfortable talking about these things. Give her a white or light shirt to wear. If you can see her breasts through the shirt, she needs one. If you can't, she does not.