You are here

Get Answers

Sometimes it's nice to get advice from experts with a lot of letter degrees behind their names, but other times, you just need to hear what another parent (with a M.O.M. behind her name) has done that has worked. You've got questions? These moms have answers.

Help! my 3 1/2 year old daughter refuses to potty train

4 answers
I have 3 1/2 year old twins who we have been trying to potty train for over a year. At first we started really low key, just encouraging to sit on the potty before bath and whenever they seemed interested. They never had any success and never seemed very motivated to learn. After they turned 3 we decided it was time to try harder. We tried the 3-day potty training method and my son turned into such a whiny miserable mess that we stopped and went back to diapers for a short time. Then, my daughter showed some interest and was actually asking to put undies on, so we went with it. We had 2 good days where she had successes while sitting on the potty during mommy prompted visits to the bathroom. Then, on the 3rd day, she literally sat on the potty all day without going. She kept saying she couldn't and grabbing herself like she was trying to stop herself from going. So, after that I decided that we would have a time limit on how long we sat. Since then, she has not gone on the potty once. She was staying dry all day, holding for her pull-up at nap, so we kept undies on her at nap thinking she would eventually go. No, she just started holding all day long! The other night she started freaking out because she had to pee and was in the tub. She refused to sit on the potty, refused to pee in the tub. She tells me she's scared to pee. I don't get it! I tried to explain to her that it feels better if she doesn't hold for so long. She doesn't seem to care about her sticker chart or any incentives. She will just hold until either she can't any longer and she pees on herself, or until her bedtime pull-up is put on. Yesterday she told me she would sit on the potty if we went and got her a new chair that was "not scary". We went today and I dropped $25 on another potty chair, she sat on it for an hour today with no pee, and then refused to sit on it again. They don't go to daycare but I am afraid if I don't get them trained they are not going to be allowed to go to preschool next year. My husband and I are so stressed and arguing because of this. We both feel like parenting failures and don't know what to do!

answers (4)

First of all, don't feel like a failure. It sounds like you are doing all the right things. Sometimes kids just aren't ready until they're a little older. If I were you, I would talk to your kids to figure out what they are afraid of. Find out what about the potty chair your daughter doesn't like. Sometimes chairs can be a little unstable, or can have things on them that are distracting. If they are refusing to sit on the chairs, try sitting with them and reading a book. I had to do that with my son when he was first learning. Also, think about bringing their chairs into your bathroom and taking them with you when you have to go. Have them sit on their chairs so they can see how grown ups go potty.IF that doesn't help, try talking with your pediatrician. Make sure there isn't anything medical going on with your kids, like a UTI.
I had a very hard time getting my twins(boy and girl) potty trained, but a friend mailed me a website which is about a great method which will get your kid potty trained in 3 days!! WOW, never thought that something like that would work, but it did! And apparenty for thousands of parents. I really recommend it to every parent who has trouble potty training their kid.
Have you tried a program? See if this article helps
Omg this sounds just like my 3 1/2 yr old daughter as well and my husband and i arguing..him saying is my fault she's not trained yet!

*DISCLAIMER's Answers are provided by members of our community. While your fellow moms and our editors have plenty of great advice to offer based on their experience, it is not a substitute for professional medical help. Always consult a medical professional when seeking medical advice. All submitted answers are subject to the rules set forth in our Privacy Policy and Terms of Use