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How do I get my 3 year old to give her family hugs and kisses?

6 answers
My 3 year old refuses to give her close family members hugs and/or kisses when she says goodbye. My question is, should I be forcing her to do so, and if so how do you enforce it? We've tried putting her in time out, which always works with other things, but doesn't for this. My husband thinks that she should always give hugs and kisses to her family b/c that's how he was raised, but I question whether we should be making her do something that she seems to be uncomfortable with. She has no problem giving me and my husband hugs and kisses... I'm just not really sure about this one. What do you think??

answers (6)

We started out teaching our son to blow kisses with his hands. This might be more comfortable for her, and still satisfy your husband's concerns.
My daughter NEVER blew kisses, NEVER gave hugs and kisses either though until I  put her in daycare.  the next family gathering for some reasom EVERYONE got a big kiss and a bg squeeze from Lucy!
My daughter NEVER blew kisses, NEVER gave hugs and kisses either though until I  put her in daycare.  the next family gathering for some reasom EVERYONE got a big kiss and a bg squeeze from Lucy!
You should never force a child to hug and kiss  someone she is  not comfortable with.  This opens the door to child abuse.  Pedophiles love that.  If your child is suddenly reluctant to hug there is a good reason for it and you should investigate.  Shame on YOU for punishing her for not wanting to kiss someone.  So what if their feelings are hurt?  The only feelings you should care about are hers.
Wow that's a crazy response from CathyL6151. I'm talking about my immediate family, not strangers off the street. I think it's very rude of you to make assumptions about my child being molested based off a perfectly reasonable question. My child has never even been to daycare, so she has only been exposed to close family members. I don't really understand people that sit on these sites searching postings to act like an idiot and scold someone they don't even know! You should maybe get a life!! This was my very first time using this site or any message board. I was just hoping to reach out to other mothers for advise on things not to be told that I am a bad mother. If this is what this site is all about, maybe I'll just talk to my friends and family for advise from now on. It's really unfourtunate that people like you exist. Mom's should help eachother out and support one another, not sit in a chair of judgement. My only judge is God, and last I checked His name's not Cathy!!!!!
I do have to agree w/ the fact the you shouldn't force her to give affection when she doesn't want to, nor punish her if she doesn't. It's probably just her personality. Some kids just don't like giving affection other than mom or dad. I disagree w/ Cathy that your daughter might be getting molested, that is RARELY the case w/ any child who doesn't show affection towards others. Even if your husband was raised in a way that everyone gave hugs and kisses to family, that doesn't mean that his own children should or would be just as comfortable w/ it. Maybe ur daughter can learn to give hand shakes or high fives instead, if she's comfortable. B/c that doesn't involve a lot of physical contact. hope this helps.

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