If you're holding her, she's not falling asleep by herself.I've been where you are. It's difficult to deal with. I don't like the cry it out method, it really didn't work for my kids. What worked best for both of them was me sitting next to the crib/bed. They still got angry because they weren't being held, but they did learn how to fall asleep in the crib.They each got a LeapFrog Puppy Pal toy that plays lullaby music (in addition to other songs/activities) that was a huge help in getting them to fall asleep on their own. They loved the music (which can be personalized), and they loved cuddling with the puppy. I would turn on the music, lay them down, tuck them in and then I'd sit in a chair next to the crib. I would put my arm through the slats of the crib and I'd rub their head or back. If they got up I'd take my hand out and I'd tell them to lay back down. Once they were settled I'd go back to rubbing their head or back. It took a while, they were resistant to falling asleep that way. But by the end of about a week they were comfortable with it and wouldn't fuss or cry.Then, once they were used to the new routine I stopped rubbing their head or back and just sat next to the crib. After a few days they were comfortable enough that I could leave the room while they were still a little awake. I started leaving sooner and sooner each night and after a few weeks had gone by I was able to lay them down, tuck them in, and leave immediately.