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How do I get my daughter to go to sleep without being held?

4 answers
My 13 month old daughter won't take a nap or go to bed at night without myself or my husband holding her. We have tried putting her in the crib while the room is dark and walking out of the room and she stands right up and starts screaming. She has screamed upwards of 10 mins without stopping then we go in and pick her up. I know its giving in but she won't stop what do we do? The pediatrician said we have to get her to learn to put herself to sleep which she will do as long as she's in our arms. We don't have to rock her, pat her butt, sing or anything she just wants us to hold her. She sleeps in a crib so its not like we can lay next to her.

answers (4)

If you're holding her, she's not falling asleep by herself.I've been where you are. It's difficult to deal with. I don't like the cry it out method, it really didn't work for my kids. What worked best for both of them was me sitting next to the crib/bed. They still got angry because they weren't being held, but they did learn how to fall asleep in the crib.They each got a LeapFrog Puppy Pal toy that plays lullaby music (in addition to other songs/activities) that was a huge help in getting them to fall asleep on their own. They loved the music (which can be personalized), and they loved cuddling with the puppy. I would turn on the music, lay them down, tuck them in and then I'd sit in a chair next to the crib. I would put my arm through the slats of the crib and I'd rub their head or back. If they got up I'd take my hand out and I'd tell them to lay back down. Once they were settled I'd go back to rubbing their head or back. It took a while, they were resistant to falling asleep that way. But by the end of about a week they were comfortable with it and wouldn't fuss or cry.Then, once they were used to the new routine I stopped rubbing their head or back and just sat next to the crib. After a few days they were comfortable enough that I could leave the room while they were still a little awake. I started leaving sooner and sooner each night and after a few weeks had gone by I was able to lay them down, tuck them in, and leave immediately.
I think its better to just put them in their bed and let them cry it out untill they fall asleep, I know its hard but good results. 
Cry it out doesn't work for all children, or for all parents. If you have a child who will cry for hours without stopping, it doesn't work. It also doesn't foster good feelings about sleeping. It makes bedtime and sleeping a stressful experience, which makes children more prone to night wakings and nightmares. It may work for some kids, but there are other ways to get chidlren to fall asleep on their own that are emotionally easier on everyone.
I have tried the sit next to the crib and that did not work. Both my kids screamed the loudest and hardest with me there. Like yelling "You are right there pick me up!" It was really hard on them and me. My daughter out grew it when I had to work and my husbands mom watched her a could of days a week. She did not cuddle her to sleep just laid her down and she went to sleep. My son has been trickier. Some nights like tonight he went to sleep on his own. However if he wakes I have to hold him and rock him. I wish I could give you help but all I can say is whatever you choose you have to commit 100% and stick to it. 

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