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How do I get them to stop fighting?

2 answers
My sister and her husband have just taken in 3 of there niece's and 1 nephew due to family problems. They have 2 kid's of there own and my sister is expecting! Her 3 nieces fight non-stop! Not just verbal either!!!! They physically fight with each other!!! I don't know the exact detail's of there living environment with there mom but I know in my sister's house this kind of thing does not happen!!! My sister's 2 girl's are very calm and they understand that when there frustrating there mom they better stop now!!! But she can't seem to keep her niece's and nephew from fighting with each other!! They can all just be sitting there and out of the blue one will say to the other something extremely mean just to hurt the other ones feelings and it escalates to them hitting each other! The one's that fight more then the other's are the 10, and 12 year old. My sister understand's that there past living experience with there mom was not good at all. But you think that they would be happy to be in a calm and collective environment! There behavior and attitude is over all horrible!! They don't seem to know how lucky they are to have relatives that will provide for them and treat them like they matter! I understand they have had it rough I just wish they would show some kind of appreciation and stop fighting with one another! Any suggestions are greatly appreciated!! thanks

answers (2)

I'm sure they are very happy and grateful to be in a much better home environment but it's going to take them some time to adjust and learn new, good habits and ways of interacting with each other. The bottom line is that they are kids and their behavior won't change overnight no matter how much better things are for them. They need time to adjust to living in a new family with new rules and new ways of doing things. I highly doubt they are acting out because they are bad kids, it's just what they know. Generally speaking, that kind of behavior is learned by observation, just like good behavior is learned. The best thing for them is patience and consistent discipline. They could also benefit from seeing a therapist to help them deal with all the new changes in their lives as well as whatever they went through before.
Thanks!! I know there not bad kids, I just hate seeing my sister so frustrated dealing with them fighting all the time and her work nagging at her everytime she has to call out of work because one of the kids are sick or she's just so stressed she's sick, she has developed a hurnia in her stomach and I don't know how safe that is with her being pregnate at all, I try taking 3 kid's at a time to try and calm her house hold down a little!  If I didn't have 2 kid's of my own I would be able to take all of them to give them some peace!

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