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how do you deal with a mln that does not respect anything you say?

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answers (4)

I'm assuming MLN = mother-in-law?  I think it depends on how often you see/talk to her.  If it's once or twice a year, then I'd say just smile and nod, and count the days until she's gone home.  If it's more often than that, you'll need your husband on your side to back you up (and he needs to be willing to vocally do it).  Tell her that you're sorry she doesn't respect you or how you're parenting your kids, and that you respect that she's raised your husband and she did a fantastic job.  But the world's changed in the last 20/30/40 years, and you're trying to parent the best you can in the world your kids have to live in.  And I would add that if she's dissing you in front of the kids - that's something to bring up, too, by telling her it can't continue, or you'll have to limit her exposure to them.  Harsh, yes.  But so's hearing Grandma talk smack about Mom.
thank you so much!!!!! its like when my daughter was younger i would say we are trying to take her off the bottle can you please dont give it to her she would go out behind my back and buy it and give it to her!! and one day she really had made me very upset i told no disrespect but that is my child i had her and i am herr mother!!! is like she doesnt listen but my mom when i tell her things she always litens and respect what i say!!! 
MIL always seem to think they know whats best. This is just me, but as soon as she would do something that went behind my back or she said something about how I was raising my child, I would tell her right then in there, and nip it in the bud. I have to resort to that becuase even way before I got pregnant, she would try and talk about how I always did something wrong so I would pull her aside and talk about it, and she would deny it or say it wont happen again, and the next week we would start all over again. So if you have tried pulling her aside or your hubby has, and it still hasnt worked, as soon as she does it, call her out. People hate being put in the spotlight, so maybe a little, not a lot. humiliation will set her straight.
BTW I am not saying be rude about it, just when she hands your child a bottle, tell her, "I asked you not to give him/her a bottle. We are trying to get them off of it." No attitude, no rudeness in your voice, just a normal tone.

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