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How to get husband to relax with toddler??

5 answers
Newly married and the father (step parent) to my child has began to refer to my son (2) as "satan" to people we are friends with. He is always discussing how bad he is. The 2 year old is a normal child with energy. He does sometimes test our patience but no more than any 2 year old would, in my mind atleast. He gets in to things he says no or throws a tantrum and is punished!! But my husband makes it seem as though our child is just a horrible misbehaving monster and I'm seriously taking offense to this issue. Mg husband is a first time parent his child the youngest is only 9 weeks old and he has never had a older children he was kind of thrown in with mine who are 6 and 2! The older one my daughter adores him and he is amazing with her am I missing something ?? Is there a weird big thing that I need to figure out?? When is tough love too tough??

answers (5)

He just doesn't understand that it is normal 2 year old behavior. He has never had any experience with a 2 year old, and to him your son is insane. With time he will probably get used to everything, and if he doesn't, just talk to him. 
Is your husband's attitude new, or has he always described your son this way? How long have the two of you been together? This is the kind of behavior I would expect in the beginning of a relationship, not after the two of you are married. I'm a little confused as to why your husband hasn't had more time getting to know your children.I've got 3 kids 4 years and under. So I definitely know what toddler behavior is like. My son is 2 1/2 and has his crazy moments. Thankfully, my kids got their tantrum phases out of the way when they were about 10 months old, so that hasn't been an issue for us. But, toddlers in general, and especially little boys, have endless energy and no volume control. I jokingly call my older two the "Lilos" to my 10 month old "Stitch".You haven't given much description of your son's behavior, but you say it's pretty normal. If that's the case, your husband is most likely overreacting and is being extremely rude when talking about him to other people. You need to stand up for your son. Regardless of whether or not your son's behavior is normal or out of control, this man is now his father. He needs to love your son unconditionally. He needs to be respectful when talking about whatever family frustrations he may have. If your husband's attitude doesn't change, it's likely that it will create a rift between the two of them that will become bigger and more problematic as time goes on.
To answer your questions it is a fairly new relationship or that's how I would describe it. I met my husband when I was 13 we dated on and off over the years I had my children we reconnected and have rekindled out relationship with our children now involved! Mine being 6 and 2 his being 3 months old.  I say that my 2yr olds behaviout is typical hes pushing boundaries of a new situation and of what he can get away with which isn't much with my husband, but I'm more lenient. My husband I have just married and his opinion and calling of the names has recently began as my sons behaviour has changed slightly. He is becoming more vocal!! I should probably also include that there is a custody issue going on between me and his Father! there has been a lot of "getting use to" and my husband has never dealt with "terrible twos" I'm just trying to figure out what is normal in this adjustment period because I feel torn
Pushing boundaries is normal, and any big changes are going to result in some behavior changes in all kids, especially young ones. Make sure you and your husband are on the same page with discipline. If one of you is strict and the other isn't, there will be problems. You need to talk with each other about your expectations for your children and come up with a plan that will work for both of you. Then, you need to be consistent and your son will adapt to the changes and everything.
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