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How to talk to an overwhelming mother in law?

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My MIL is overwhelming me. I know it's normal to be a little annoying and intentions are always in a good place. However mine has started to ask me to message her when I leave my house arrive at a destination and then message again home safe. Then I get messages with every siren to make sure we are safe. Then the driving passed the house started which enables her to time my visits with friends and family and knows to message as soon as I'm in the door. She calls my daughter her baby. She is soon to be tattooing her name on her arm. She's becoming rude to my husband in his own house because he's trying to kindly limit her visits to help me cope with her and not hurt her feelings. She's been rude to my other guests not letting them hold my baby because they can't be trusted. My parents are limiting their visits so I'm able to get rest and all I want is my own mother to talk to about being a new parent. My MIL questions if my baby is covered up enough outside or if she should even be outside asks if I need to take her to emergency for baby acne. Needs updates at all appointments. And now has started telling her significant other he will not tell her when to leave when the poor man was clearly trying to let me get away after a 3 hour visit. I just don't know how to approach this without hurt feelings or getting screamed at. This is my baby and I don't want to feel angry after every visit and stew about it taking my mind away from her. Help me. I really feel alone. My husband has offered to tell her no more. He's just not as kind should I say? He's blunt and to the point and I don't want hurt feelings just space. Is this normal?!?

answers (1)

I have the same problem with mother-in-law getting all over my stuff. And it actually got me into fight with my husband because she will talk something about me in front of my husband. My case is worse because my husband works offshore and she used to take care of everything for him and now even though we have our own family. She always want to have some saying about what we should do. Anyway. I figured out the best way is just try to stay away from her and keep some distance. Meet up every once a while but definitely not everyday. Hope will help.

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