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husband hurting my feelings..?

8 answers
hi im alejandra I got married about 3 years ago and i had a baby who now is 2 years old.. The thing is that my husband has been acting sorta mean to me lately he says hurtfull things like he sees this girl on tv and says " oh u use to look like her when we were going out but now your ugly " then he laughs and says im just kidding !! When we go out to the mall he sees other girls and makes comments about how good they look !! and i dont like that !! i tell him and he says "GOD im just kidding!! Then the other day we were out eating and this girl with a really short skirt came in and he almost choked on his food and then said sorry too me..!! Then last time we were going to a party and i kept trying on things i already had in my closet and hes like hurry up its not like anything is goign to make you look better !! This is really horrible to me because before he would say come on you look pretty with anything you wear !! And his comments really hurt me ALOT !! He thinks that with saying im just kidding its going to take what ever he said away !! Also before he only used to have pictures of me and my baby on his phone screan and now last time i saw his phone screan and he had this girl in an under wear and bra !! He doesnt tell me what he use to like oh you look really pretty, or even an i love you.. I dont knw if theres something wrong with me and this is okaii or if hes the one with a problem !! someone pls help me understand whats going on and what should i do !!

answers (8)

There is nothing wrong with you. Tell him that you do not think his jokes about your looks are funny. Ask him to keep them to his self because they are hurtful to you. Hopefully he will understand, but I'm sorry to say he probably won't because he sounds like a butt.
There is nothing wrong with you. Tell him that you do not think his jokes about your looks are funny. Ask him to keep them to his self because they are hurtful to you. Hopefully he will understand and stop saying these things to you..because they are awful. How would he like it if you did the same thing?
Maybe give him a taste of his own medicine. If you are out and about with him and see a couple being nice to each other, say just loud enough for him to hear that it would be nice if he could be like the guy you see. Maybe he just needs a smart @ss comment like that to see how rude he really is.
That would be totally unacceptable to me. All of it. That is verbal & emotional abuse!!
Sounds to me like your husband is passive aggressive... ie he know what he is doing is hurting your feeling but he is trying to tell you that he wants you to lose weight. Totslly unacceptable because he is hurting you, so I would say you need a confrontation with him to get it out in the open
I'm with drkpriestess.  This is unacceptable behavior.  It is also immature and abusive.  You are the mother of his child and you deserve respect.  I recommend marriage counceling and if that doesn't work...Run!  Seriously.  I left my first 'husband' because he was abusive and an alcoholic.  I realized that what he was doing to me was ultimately going to mentally damage my daughter.  I moved on and found a respectful and loving man who is a great husband, a loving step-father, and will be a good role-model for my daughter and the baby I'm carrying. Remember, it's okay to be selfish if what's best for you is also going to be what's best for your children!  It sounds like your husband isn't as bad as my alcoholic ex though, so marriage counseling may really work wonders for you...especially if the counselor has a lot of experience and can help your husband wake up and show some respect!Men always look.  Even the good ones.  But the man who is truly in love with you will always make it clear that you are the best of the best.  That in his eyes, you are the most attractive woman in the world to him (and better than any swimsuit/lingerie model because they're just eye candy, and not the love of their life and the mother of their children).  Take heart and be strong.
If it was me the next time he made a comment like that I would pack my stuff and go!  I do have a question or two though.  You said that your child is 2, has this picking been going on for the whole two years or just recently?  Is your sex life not what it used to be? Then it could be that he is cheating on you as well as being an asshole.  Regaurdless you do not desevre to be treated that way and the only way to get it to stop is to grow a spine and put your foot down and tell him either to stop or your gone.  If he lets you go then you and your baby are much better off without him.
If it was me the next time he made a comment like that I would pack my stuff and go!  I do have a question or two though.  You said that your child is 2, has this picking been going on for the whole two years or just recently?  Is your sex life not what it used to be? Then it could be that he is cheating on you as well as being an asshole.  Regaurdless you do not desevre to be treated that way and the only way to get it to stop is to grow a spine and put your foot down and tell him either to stop or your gone.  If he lets you go then you and your baby are much better off without him.

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