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Husband's Mother hurting him
My husband and I are expecting our third and last child. This will be our only boy. So my mother is throwing a small baby shower. This is huge for my husband, he is finially getting his little boy. Well I have asked his mother, my mother in law, several times now for address for her family. She blows me off. He has also asked her. Same response. Now I could not care less about her, she has made it very clear that she does not like me, that I am her son's biggest mistake. Needless to say, she hates me. My question is how do we or just my husband explain to her that she is hurting him not me. He has expressed his feelings to me and had told to just not invite them. Now I know she will make it look like I did not include her or her family. I just want her to see how much she is hurting her son. Our children are her only grandchildren and she is so close to just pushing us all away. This is not the only time we have had issues with her.
Your husband just needs to have an honest conversation with her. He's the one she's hurting, he's the one who needs to tell her that. After he's told her exactly how he feels it will be up to her to decide how to proceed.
Is there anyone else you can ask for addresses? Siblings, cousins, anyone? Do you have a copy of the invite list from your wedding? Some people may have moved, but hopefully not all. If your MIL won't cooperate, then you're going to have to stop relying on her for addresses, and start keeping them on your own - and that starts with finding some other way of getting them.
There are plenty of ways to look up addresses online. All you need is their name. Type that in the search engine and narrow it down from there. If you are not sure if you have the right address, just send an invite to whatever address pops up, explain who you are and what your intentions are (baby shower). Leave your phone number and ask them to kindly call you either way so you won't bother the wrong person in the future. See, no need for his mom to help. Try whitepages.com first, but there are other sites to use too. Just make sure you find a free site.